atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3936: Banning pork? Seriously?

A school in Tennesee tried to ban pork. The article (and JayG's post) don't say what the idiots running the place were thinking, or if in fact any real thought was involved in the ban...but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say muslims are the reason for the ban.

They're not even allowed to touch pork, because that renders them "unclean". That's why, by the way, Commodore Perry had such good success dealing with islamic insurgents in the Philippines when he said he would shoot them and bury them with pigs; according to the death cult, if your dead body contacts piggy, you don't go to paradise or get your 72 virgins. the first thing muslims do when confronted with any culture that understands the intrinsic goodness of pork is to try to force that culture to stop eating pork because It Insults Us And You Must Not Insult Us!

America is a pork-eating nation. Deal with it or go elsewhere.

* * *

Some people have no sense of self-preservation.

Black man points a gun at a white man and demands that he apologize for all the sins of white people against black people. "The victim told officers he believes he was targeted because he was the only white person walking in the area,..." So, how is that not a hate crime?

The homeless bigot "...has a history of weapons offenses. He brought a gun into a tavern in 2012 and was convicted for carrying a pistol in 2002. He also has convictions for obstruction in 2006 and reckless endangerment in 2009." Damn it! It's clear that we must make guns even more illegal because the laws on the books are obviously just not working! Maybe if he had to serve two prison sentences instead of one he would realize that he's not allowed to carry guns any more.

Someone had better give the white victim the Derbyshire talk before he gets himself killed.

More gun violence in Chicago, also from JayG.
Six people shot in the span of one hour. This is in a city with draconian gun laws in a state that just legalized concealed carry (although no permits have been given yet) as the last state in the union to do so. There's a county-wide ban on "assault weapons" and - like Massachusetts - a FOID card is required to simply own a firearm (not sure if it covers ammo or not like the MA FID card does, where you are required to have the permit to purchase and possess ammo).

Imagine that. All that gun control, and thugs are still out there shooting people at random. All those laws being ignored; all those laws that they swore would stop this very sort of thing are impotent to stop thugs from being thugs. You know what's missing in this report? Any mention of anyone getting arrested. What we see here in Massachusetts is what I like to call the "Until you kill" policy. Unless and until the shooting/stabbing/drunk driving kills someone, the "justice" system slaps the offender on the wrist and puts them back on the street.

I tried to post a comment to that post, but both times I tried it I got "Whoops, that's an error." and the comment disappeared down the bit bucket.

...FOID card required for ammo purchases in IL, and though I don't know what the legality of mere possession is I would not care to experiment because simple prudence assumes carrying ammo without FOID is illegal if buying it is.

Either way--six people shot in an hour, which is an average of one shooting every ten minutes. Go go gun control! *sigh*

* * *

When Mrs. Fungus and I were watching Lost, at one point we paused playback for something or other, during the episode where Jack Shepard was operating on John Locke after a car had mowed him down in his wheelchair. Locke awakens in the recovery room and Jack Shepard is standing over him and smiling.

Mrs. Fungus observed that it was a creepy smile, so I said, "Yeah, and if you experience any pain or bleeding from your rectum, don't worry about it; it's just a side effect of the anasthesia." Which, naturally, made her laugh so hard that we couldn't resume watching the show for a couple more minutes...and when Locke later went under the knife again, laying facedown on the spinal surgery table--well, the jokes were obvious.

So are the jokes related to this FML: "Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML"

"Just a side effect. Really," Jack Shepard assures us.

So then--a few days after we'd seen that episode--I sent this to cheer Mrs. Fungus up when she was having a bad day at work:
Locke: anus hurts and I think it's bleeding.

Jack: Yeah...that's just a side effect from the anasthesia. Nothing to worry about.


Jack (to Kate): Just go out there and help Claire. Delivering a baby is a straightforward procedure. I have to stay here and give all my blood to a dying man; there's no way in hell that's clouded my judgement!


Jack: Pay no attention to the OPEN AND BLEEDING SORE ON MY NECK as I perform delicate spinal surgery on you, AFTER you get my "special" anasthesia....


Ben: (points at Desmond) There's someone who needs your help, Hugo.

Hugo: I saw how Jack operates. I'm not into buttsex, dude.


(In back of flight 815, Jack desperately tries to save Charlie from choking)

Stewardess: How is THAT going to help clear his airway?

Jack: Got it!

(Charlie begins breathing)

Jack (zipping pants) I just had to force the obstruction past his larnyx;
he'll be fine.


That's a lot of humor to extract from one creey still frame.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.