atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#4245: Still can't remember what I wanted to write about the other day.

I can see why people go on writing retreats, though. If I'd been at that place for a week, I might have been moved actually to write something. It's an expensive way to do things, though (there's a reason we only stayed two nights) and I'm not rich enough to make a habit out of this kind of thing.

Which is just as well.

I used to write some every night, but that was when I was an unemployed "betweener"--out of high school, not yet in college--and had nothing to do nor any interest in figuring out what I ought to be doing, but did have a lot of ideas zinging around in my brain. I suppose that growing up and becoming a responsible adult shunted the writing thing off to the side; working as a technical writer was hard enough that at the end of the day I didn't have anything left with which to write fiction, and so my age-old habit suffered.

...and then I took up blogging.

Sometimes I think I'd be best served if I simply hung up my bloggeratin' spurs. It's true that writing this blog satisfies my need to write; further, it's much easier to write a daily blog post than it is to write several pages per day of a coherent novel. This shit's stream of consciousness, and thirty years of typing has taken all conscious consideration out of getting the words from my brain onto the screen. I think it, it goes through a little signal processing on the fly, and then it goes out the fingers and into the computer. (That rather neatly explains why I didn't write much even when unemployed and otherwise unoccupied, I might add.)

I'm possessed of a rather ordinary amount of self-discipline, so I suppose if I were to confine myself to writing a blog post only after writing at least one page of fiction per day I could get by without backsliding too often. That's still pretty hard to accomplish, relatively speaking, because I am in a job where I have to think on my feet.

The stories--there's just not the pressure that there used to be. I don't feel like it's urgent that I get it all written down soonest. That's led to a vast improvement in the overall quality of my writing, because I am patient enough to write what needs writing rather than trying to do it all at once, but it's also led to a vast reduction in output.

Again, if I wrote half as much fiction as I write about writing, I'd have no trouble at all.

So what am I doing here?

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