#4599: Chester Arthur owned 80 pairs of pants.
...so last night Mrs. Fungus read that factoid from a Snapple cap, and asked me how often he would have to change his pants to wear them all in a day.
18 minutes.
That resulted in the following riff:
18 minutes.
That resulted in the following riff:
Aide: Mr. Vice President, I've got bad news. President Garfield has been assassinated! W're going to have to swear you in right away.Then:
Chester A. Arthur: Good God, we must move at once. Let me change my pants.
time passes
Judge: So repeat after me. I, Chester Arthur, do solemnly swear....
CAA: I, Chester Arthur, do solemnly swear...you know, wait just a moment. I have to go change my pants.
Judge: But...Mr. Vice President, this won't take long--
CAA: No, I've got to change them now. It's been almost 18 minutes since I last changed them!
Aide: Mr. President, here's today's schedule. Ten AM, meeting with Boy Scouts. 10:18, change pants. 10:19, continue meeting with Boy Scouts.Of course, if we assume that he slept for 8 hours, then he'd actually have to change pants every twelve minutes in order to get through 80 pairs in one day. But who's counting?
CAA: Understood.
Aide: 10:36, change pants.