atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

Random Thoughts (More Random Than Usual)

I made this strip using Stripcreator. ( I made it a couple of years ago. These days I might have made a Brokeback Mountain joke out of it.

I won't watch "tentacle" anime. The basic premise behind it is that demons or aliens with prehensile genitals use them to rape human women. I'm not sure why.

If you examine the spectrum of anime, you'll find tentacle anime at one extreme, and magical girl anime at the other, and "neither the twixt shall twain" or WTF ever that old saying is. I collect magical girl anime.

I have seen one (1) example of tentacle anime: the first episode of La Blue Girl. It was enough for me. I don't need to see any more.

Another one made about the same time.

And the inevitable "horny old lady" joke. Enough of this. I'm beginning to wish I'd never learned how to link pictures.


A couple of people who have seen my non-manga comic efforts seem to think they're worthy of being made into a webcomic. I'm not entirely averse to the idea but it would take a lot of work, and I'm not sure I want to bother.

I originally thought of doing a webcomic 'way back in 1996 or so. I have a character named "EPA-Man" who gets into all sorts of trouble which is only loosely connected with "protecting the environment". In the course of the comics I drew he was shot, bombed, roasted, liquefied by ebola, blown up with bad music, dissolved in Drano, and turned into a mop; his continued existence was only possible because of the Reconstitutifyer, a magical machine which could fix whatever happened to someone. Well, it wasn't limited to people: he accepted a "fine" from an Exxon exec who was cleaning Prince William Sound and bought a Porsche, and promptly wrecked it; all they could save of it was the steering wheel, but he was sure that was enough for the Reconstitutifyer to work with. Sadly, the pattern was incomplete, and a VW Beetle came out the other side, albiet one with Porsche badging on it. He sold it to a genetic engineer, who then vowed revenge upon seeing what he'd bought.

EPA-Man has an arch-nemesis whose name escapes me at the moment, but his big plan was to alter the PH of the Pacific ocean by adding Drano to can at a time.

While he was a mop, he was arrested by the Grammar Police.

His own liver makes a habit out of suing him for creating a "hostile work environment" when he was in college. Apparently EPA-Man drank a lot in his college days.

There was a one-shot crossover comic I drew where EPA-Man got into a turf war with OSHA-Man. OSHA-Man wasn't nearly as funny and only appeared in the one comic. Oh well. The comic showed EPA-Man and OSHA-Man getting into a pissing match about bailiwick--there was an unsafe playground they wanted to shut down--and as they argued two thugs took a ball from a child and shot him.

Maybe I ought to do a comic about the thugs. That would be pretty funny, too.

With Stripcreator I did a very long series of comics called "The Evercrack Saga", about a college guy named Mike who plays "Evercrack" to the exclusion of all else, including a normal social life:

The name "Evercrack" is a reference to the multiplayer online game "EverQuest", which is apparently so highly addictive that it became known, in some circles, as "EverCrack".

I'm not going to post them all here for two reasons. First, the character designs all belong to someone else; second, there's over 230 of the damn things. If I ever want this series to see web publication, I'm going to have to make my own clip-art and cut-and-paste a hell of a lot. Not that that is beyond my capabilities, but I have two cars to fix for crying out loud. I have a lot of other things to do.

In "The Evercrack Saga", Mike's character Gaxicus the Ranger comes to life and proceeds to wreak havoc all over the world. Aliens learn how to make their Evercrack characters come to life, too. Even robots get involved with Evercrack. And to make matters even worse, somehow the series manages to include jokes about WiFi-capable sex toys, the War on Terror, and Affirmative Action.

Poor Gaxicus gets turned into a pile of ash, a baby, a cat girl, and a coyote, and somehow manages to live through it all.

The last webcomic idea is Boris and Rathad, a story about a wizard and an orc in a fantasy setting. This pair gets into all sorts of strange troubles. Rathad (the wizard) muffs his spells a lot, and Boris (the orc) sometimes seems like the smarter of the two.

The ultimate expression of this comic is the "Nose of Rathad" story. In this story, Rathad is experimenting with a new spell--a form of "delayed blast fireball" that also includes an extraplanar component, for dealing with those pesky extraplanar critters--which goes horribly awry when the dweomer drifts into his sinuses and goes off. His nose is blown off his face and teleported to the Abyss...where it then plummets 300 miles and--traveling at Mach 8--strikes Orcus, killing him on his home plane, rendering him permanently dead.

The Nose of Rathad thus becomes a great holy artifact; and Rathad himself--having killed Orcus permanently, singlehanded--advances to 60th level and becomes a demigod. As Boris and Rathad go in search of Rathad's nose, others get involved in the search for the world's newest holy artifact. It's said that whoever finds the Nose of Rathad and cuts off his own nose can attach the Nose of Rathad in its place, and become very powerful.

The others looking for the Nose include Sir Klank of Steele and his squire, Lackey; and Rathad's (still-nameless) mentor. Somewhere in the mix there is a dwarven thief who wears a saucepan for a helmet, too.

The biggest problem with Boris and Rathad is similar to that of Evercrack Saga: I don't own the character designs. *sigh*

So here's a lesson for you: if you come up with a great idea for a story, make sure you use your own damn characters in it.

**LEGAL NOTICE: even though the character images belong to others, the story ideas belong to me. They are copyrighted. If the RIAA and MPAA are successful in their quest to turn copyright law into a form of government-mandated extortion, like them I'll be able to use the FBI as my own personal squad of copyright enforcement thugs. Just so you know.

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