Your Tesla is not a self-driving automobile; you still have to pay attention. The car's not smart enough to drive itself.
When you hear that Hillary has a 2-3-5 point lead on Trump, bear in mind that Trump isn't spending anything on advertising.
Starbucks raised their minimum wage and UNEXPECTEDLY! cut back number of hours worked. The true minimum wage is zero.
Australia has to re-do their elections because of massive vote fraud. The Green party cheated? Say it ain't so!
Gimme one of them assault muskets!
Collusion is bad. But of course they're Democrats so it's all above board. Right?
The Ridiculous Gigolo proves he's as dumb as a bag of doorknobs.
Well, I guess this means we must ban all fireworks everywhere forever. Why was the kid firing a cap gun inside the car with fireworks inside?
It's a file server the size of a postage stamp. How's that for high tech?
"Don't agree with secession? What are you celebrating every July 4th?"
Psychiatrist sometimes diagnoses demonic possession.
* * *
Today Mrs. Fungus had a fender-bender.
She was on her way to lunch and there was a cop directing traffic; he waved her on, and as she was entering the intersection some moron came charging through and hit her car. He almost hit the cop, too. I can't imagine that the cop was too amused by that.
Anyway, the damage to her car is mostly superficial, as far as I can tell--there is one dent and a bunch of scraping--but the other guy's car lost its bumper.
I got the call from her in the middle of my shift at work. Theoretically we have an "emergency contact" line, but every time she has called it, it's been busy or no one has bothered to answer it. It was the same today, so she called me directly. Her number is the only one which is allowed through "quiet mode" on my phone, and when she called me I got off the phone as quickly as I could to call her back.
Anyway, long story short, I braved the teeming madness of the holiday rush hour, and hurried to her side. She's fine, the car is drivable, and the accident was entirely the other party's fault since he ignored a police officer's traffic directions.
I left work at 4:45 and got back at 7:15; despite being out of the office for about 2.5 hours and having 1.5 hours of training today I still got in a reasonable number of calls.
* * *
And so we head into the 4th of July weekend. On my way to work this morning, I-80 was a parking lot from I-394 all the way to I-57. That's miles and miles; I don't even know how many. Five? Six? Ten? Far too many.
On my way home, then, the westbound lanes where the two right lanes split off to head for Iowa, that was a parking lot.
I hope tomorrow's traffic isn't too cruddy.