atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#5287: How Demi Lovato ruined my weekend

So, three days ago neither I nor Mrs. Fungus had ever heard of Demi Lovato.

Saturday evening she takes a call at work from some kind of PR dude offering her organization tickets to Demi Lovato's concert at "a little place called the Allstate Arena" and it was so ludicrous the eyerolls were probably detectible from Pluto. But she dutifully e-mailed someone at the company with the information.

Today she learned that she is among those who must attend the concert. Which is tomorrow, on our Saturday. Imagine our excitement.

Apparently Demi Lovato was on Barney and Friends and apparently was addicted to this and that drug, only now she's better and of course it's perfect PR for her to have some recovering addicts backstage before the show for a meet-and-greet.

Mrs. Fungus: "I don't want to go!"

Her boss: "You have to!"

Me: "WTF. They'd better pay you. I would insist on getting paid for that horseshit."

But of course the humor is not lost on me. "You know," I said, "there was that weekend she and Barney got an 8-ball...."

The idea of Barney with a coke mustache amuses me.

* * *


* * *

In the "people are idiots, and I hate them" column we have two spectacularly stupid calls from today.

First off, the idiots who haven't paid a bill on time since October and who are complaining that they can't afford their bill a month after running up $105 in overages on top of their already-high bill. Look: if you have a 20 GB data plan, and you use 27 GB, guess how much sympathy I'll have for you when you admit getting the SMS notifications for each GB of overage?

Telling me that a $300 bill is half your rent for the month does not move me. Look: your nominal bill is $180 before overages. If you don't want to get a $300 bill every month, maybe you should get your data usage under control. For you to use all that data and then call up after the fact and say "I can't afford this!" and ask us to fix it? Get a life, clown. You knew how much data you were using--you admit getting the text messages!--but you couldn't be fucked to call about it at the time. We could have helped you then; now it's too late. You owe that money; I can send you to financial services to make a payment arrangement but I am not going to issue you a credit. Especially not for $105. You want to talk about going to AT&T? Go ahead. I can guarantee you that AT&T isn't going to be any more lenient about data overages than we are, and they also expect to be paid on time.

What I wanted to do, when he asked to speak to a supervisor, was to simply transfer him to collections anyway. But I dutifully got up and went and found a supervisor...who told me, after I'd summarized the situation, that I could escalate him to financial services. So I merrily returned to my desk, happy that I could do what I'd wanted to in the first place. And I turfed his ass to finacial services without even picking the line back up. Just bang you're outta here!

I know what my monthly budget is for cell phone service (approximately $12) so I do my best to remain under that budget by not using cellular data like it's free. Ditto for Mrs. Fungus, who has a 4G cell phone and a 500 MB data plan.

The other idiot was the woman who insisted she signed a contract which stated her bill wasn't going to change.

What happened was, her son broke his phone, so they went to an indirect store. The sales rep sold them an iPhone SE on contract; that's $0.99 plus a $40 upgrade fee for a $400 phone. The sales rep also got a credit issued against the upgrade fee and assured this woman her bill wouldn't change.

Well, that was horseshit. The bill went up $20, and of course doing an upgrade halfway through the bill cycle did some other things as well. And then corporate stepped in and said, "No, there's no reason to issue a credit against that upgrade fee," and so mirabile visu her bill for this month was $240.

When I explained why her bill was $240 she started saying, "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No." I hate it when people do that; they remind me of toddlers throwing tantrums. This woman insisted she signed a contract, so of course I pulled up the contract and explained it all to her. I went through the bill three or four times, explaining each charge to her, and at the end of all this she insisted that she was promised that her bill wouldn't change.

You know what? You're presumably an adult. You should be able to read. If you don't know that you should never sign something you didn't read--and if you don't know that if you sign it anyway, you're beholden to it--you shouldn't be allowed to vote. By signing the contract you agreed to the terms and conditions--and one of those terms and conditions was that the line you just upgraded would go from $20 to $40 per month.

I don't have any sympathy for people like this. You signed the damned contract. If you want to blame someone for the result, try looking in the mirror. No one forced you to sign the contract. You could have taken as much time as you like to read it.

One of these days I'm going to be dealing with one of these calls and I'm going to snap, and say something very much like that.

I've noticed that whenever it works in their favor, I signed a contract! Whenever it works against them, $Major_Telecom is just trying to screw people!


* * *

Speaking of idiots....

Mrs. Fungus and I met for dinner after work, and as we were leaving I noticed a Jeep Wrangler of fairly recent vintage parked a space over from her car. It hadn't been there when I went in, and a crowd of youngish twenty-somethings had come in shortly after we were seated. I figured the car probably belonged to them. Especially because on the car's rear end, a bumper sticker declared, "FUCK TRUMP 2016!"

I looked at the thing, then went and got into my battered 2000 Cherokee, shaking my head.

Look: in all liklihood, the Wrangler that belonged to one of those kids was purchased by mommy and daddy, who didn't want precious snowflake to have to drive some rust bucket; so of course they got the kid a $35,000 truck. It's as much a status symbol for the parents as it is for the kid: we didn't buy our kid an econobox! We're BETTER than that!

I just don't have the words to explain how tiresome I find all this.

* * *

I think I'd rather fuck Trump than Hillary. Holy shit. At least Trump is human. Jury's still out on what Hillary is.

* * *

Anyway, I have a lot to do this "weekend", so while my wife is watching Demi Lovato do whatever it is she does (probably sing, badly) I'm going to be doing other chores. Argh etc.

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