atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#5340: You know what would be nice? A vacation.

Not this.

Since Mrs. Fungus was hospitalized on Sunday evening I have not done anything useful. I have not washed clothes, or cut grass, or worked on novel. All I have done is take care of her and try to calm the hell down in between procedures. Today was the first time I've done anything other than that: I went to the post office for stamps, and faxed some insurance documents that have needed faxing for two weeks.

"Calm the hell down": this imbroglio has done wonders for my anxiety levels. The other night I caught myself "thrashing", which is what I call it when I get stuck in a loop, thinking a thought and then a second thought negating it, over and over again. It can be anything, but one example is if I think, "I need to go to bed. I'm in bed and I need to go to sleep. I need to go to bed...." and repeat. It's a symptom of anxiety I haven't experienced since...heck, years, possibly since we got married. Plus side it's all "background" and I haven't needed any Xanax. There was a short period of panic attack this morning, but I was able to relax without the drug, so that's good.

Before leaving on my errands I took a shower--the first since Wednesday--and got clean clothes from the dryer which had been put in there to dry on Saturday night. Last night I washed dishes for the first time in a similar interval. Between running back and forth to the hospital, caring for my wife, taking her to doctors' appointments, and trying not to freak right the fuck out, I have not had time to do anything else.

Today I realized that it's Friday. WTF, I thought, it was Friday just a few days ago--oh, it's been a week, wasn't it? Holy shit.

It's not life-threatening--it's cellulitis, a deep infection of the tissues--but it's in her foot and it hurts a lot, so much that she can't put weight on her foot without howling in pain. And so far the only thing that's made it any better was being in the hospital on IV antibiotics. And I cannot leave her at home alone when she can't even walk.

Fortunately, I've been in my job more than a year and I should qualify for FMLA, so that should cover me. Assuming I can get anyone to give enough of a crap actually to help me with it. *sigh*

* * *

Did I mention that I finally got my badge, four weeks after I initially requested it? I had to send a text message to the site's general manager to get it. Repeated requests to my boss (and his boss) did nothing. Whee!

* * *

Chicago Tribune endorses the Libertarian candidate. ...because they want the Republican vote split, so Hillary can win. Any major newspaper who endorses Johnson is doing so for that reason.

* * *

You must refer to me as 'his majesty' at all times. Want to let college students define their own pronouns? This will happen. And good job, too, kid.

* * *

Remember that eugenics used to be thought as correct, exactly the same way global warming is now. The only thing that discredited it was Hitler's reliance on it. Absent that, you'd still have progressives talking about weeding out undesirables.

Oh, wait! We do! Like Hillary's "basket of deplorables"!

* * *

Relaxation therapy, and something I can put down and come back to: Yotsuba&! I've been rereading the entire extant series, and am working on volume 8 or 9 right now. I have through 12. Whatever happened to it? Why have I not seen further volumes?

Besides that, I read the entire extant Bakuon! because Steven has been going on about it, and I found it to be most enjoyable. I want to read more, but there is not yet more. But I've downloaded the anime, too, so if I can get some spare time I might watch it. If there isn't something else that needs doing.

* * *

Please do not get the idea I'm complaining about all this. This is what I signed up for ("for better, for worse; in sickness and in health....") and I knew this kind of situation was possible. I am glad to care for my wife when she's unable to do for herself. I just wish I could relax a bit, is all....

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