atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#5382: This is the day that the Lord has made!

Rejoice in it, and be glad!

...need to remind myself of that a lot more often than I have been. I even made a refrigerator magnet out of that when I found it printed on an egg carton, lo these many years ago, but too often I forget.

Mrs. Fungus often laments that we had to wait so long to meet each other--but if she had met me years before she did, she probably would not have loved me. I think about this kind of thing once in a while; prior to 2011 I was not worthy of her love, and I frequently wonder if I am now. She assures me that I am, but sometimes I just don't see it. Every night I thank God for her presence in my life.

What happened? In 2011 I hit rock bottom, lost my marbles, and ended up in the psych ward; and when I came out, I started rebuilding everything. I had to. And I rebuilt according to principles which I learned along the way, realizing that lots of my upbringing had steered me wrong.

I realized--before the ossification of middle age could really set in--what really matters in this world, and what does not. And finally--decades after my birth--I discovered what love is, and learned how to love God. I volunteered to sing in public, something I had been loath to do for most of my life, and found that I enjoyed it tremendously.

I found my spine, I taught myself to let go of useless things, and I stood on my own two feet for the first time in a very long one. I stopped being afraid all the time.

I could not have done any of it without first returning to church.

That was the most important thing I could have done. I should have done it sooner; I had felt drawn back to church for several years before Mom died. The biggest problem I have with my job is that I can't go to church and I can't sing in choir, because I work evenings on Thursday and mornings on Sunday.

That'll change, of course. I'm not going to be stuck on this schedule forever. And that will do.

  • #8642: Naw, I wasn't tired

    Step one: drop off cat food at animal shelter. We had an unopened bag of a dry cat food that our cats don't eat, so Mrs. Fungus found a place to…

  • #8641: Errand day

    We have a few minor errands to run early this afternoon. I'd rather just sleep in, but apparently I don't get to. First up around 6-ish, then up…

  • #8640: INCORRECT

    Seeing the title of Friday night's ST:TOS ep ("The Changeling") reminded me of one of my pet peeves. In DS9, Odo is the station security chief. He's…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment