atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#5404: WTF!

You know, if you call me, and you don't know your phone number, your account number, your business' tax ID or address, do not then give me a "no" survey because I can't find your account, you douchebag.

Yeah. That long pause after you said, "Gee, they don't give you very good tools for doing your job!" is me using every ounce of willpower I have to avoid making a wisecrack like, "Yeah, it's almost as if they expect our customers to know something about their accounts, or something."

* * *

The long pause in the global warming continues. What I especially like is the last couple paragraphs of the article. A dire prediction, indeed.

* * *

Speaking of global warming, we got something like five inches of it over the weekend; and now it's going to get fucking cold. Projected high for Thursday? 0.00° F. Whee! And then this coming weekend they're predicting a blizzard. It's just like that movie where global warming triggers an ice age, because fuck the laws of thermodynamics!

* * *

It'd be awful nice if this turned out to be true. You don't ask questions like that when you're preparing to increase budgets. The entire federal apparatus needs a good going-over with a liposuction machine.

* * *

So I get home, and it's like a friggin' meat locker in here. Outside air temperature is a balmy 14.7°F--virtually tropical--but once I get inside the house and take off my parka, it's like...cold.

Go into the hallway to turn up the thermostat, set it at 70° to warm it up a bit in here. We keep it at 69° for the winter, and that's usually on the cool side of comfortable. Too cold right now, so let's warm it up, and...hey, what does this mean, 66°?

I turn the thermostat up more, but no click comes from it. I get fresh batteries for it--I don't remember the last time I changed them--and there's no change. "Well, I can hotwire it if I have to, but I'd rather not," I told my wife. I go outside to look at the gas meter, but it's fine and there's no evidence that anything's been done to it. Gas is on, so I tap the meter, wondering why the heat is not working?

Next up, the furnace itself. Go down to the basement with a flashlight. Me: "Well, if we have to get the furnace fixed, that'll be entertaining. And expensive." Kept thinking that we could swing it, but it might put a dent in some of our plans for the next few months. (Like not having ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.) Have a gander through the porthole at the diagnostic LEDs. They are slowly alternating, blinking red and green like a Christmas version of a railroad crossbuck. The label on the front says--I paraphrase--"Ignition failure or flame sense failure."

There is an outlet box on the furnace itself, a relic from the original, and it has a light switch in it. This switch controls power to the furnace, so I don't have to figure out which breaker is the one for the furnace. A quick flip off, count to ten, flip it on--presto, the furnace microcontroller is reset and we have heat again.

Still, not liking this, not one bit. I haven't got the faintest idea how one troubleshoots a furnace with a computer in it. If this isn't just a glitch, $5 says it needs a part that costs $8.50, but six hours of labor to install at $89.25 per hour. And you can't discover this fact without using a diagnostic device which is made by the furnace manufacturer and costs $4,000. Argh etc.

I can go downstairs and flip the switch when needed, but for fuck's sake, this furnace is a mere eight years old. It's three years out of warranty. I expected better.

...and of course it happens on the coldest night of the winter thus far, with subzero temperatures expected sooner rather than later.

* * *

Anyway, it could be worse. Managed to get through another week, and hopefully my wife and I will get to have a little fun on our "weekend". Could be worse.

* * *

It's the return of Starbirt and the Loch Ness Monsta!

* * *

And while looking for that link, I spied this hilarious juxtaposition:

Wonderduck didn't post that first part, but this made me laugh.

I mean, what's not to like? Dr.Ramah restores womb! He is a real and genuine spell caster!

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