atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#542: I"s manga

I picked up volumes 8-11 this evening. I burned through 8 pretty quickly.

Judging by the back cover text of the later volumes, it looks like the disappointing plot of the last episode of the OVA series might actually be canon, which surprises me.

I don't know that it's a good thing, but I really identify with Ichitaka, very strongly. I understand him, his actions, and his motivations implicitly. He's a lot like me, only without the physics, electronics, and computer nerdery, or the otaku-ness.

He has better luck with women, though, than I do.

It's a LiveJournal blog. May as well do some angsty whining. You folks might want to skip this.

After the abrupt end of my most recent relationship, for the first time in a very long time I find myself not caring whether or not I have a significant other. Not just now, but "going forward". I don't think it'll last, but it's kind of refreshing to think, "Well, what now? Hmm...I have an idea. Fuck it. Fuck it all. I don't need this shit."

It would be useful if I actually met some women while I still had this mindset. I've known--intellectually--for a long time that not giving a rat's ass about it was the key; but attaining that level of un-self-ness was beyond me. Now that I've found myself there, however accidentally, I have no way of testing my hypothesis.

But my biggest problem with dating has always been that I don't meet women, not in social situations; and the ones I do meet are married or otherwise taken.

What's a guy to do?

I can fix complex machines. I can work out physics problems most people won't even wonder about. I'm a nice guy, loyal, and capable. Yet the stupidest, meanest, and most inept guy on the planet can have women all over him; meanwhile here I am, unable even to get a date. WTF.

At least for the moment, I don't care, so it's kind of a moot point. As long as I continue not to care it won't be an issue; so right now I'm dreading the moment when I start to care again.

Oh well. Enough of this BS.

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