Well, July was a bad month. It started off very well; and before the first week of July was over I had flown to the Philippines and met my then-sweetie. And before I returned from the Philippines, I had a fiancee.
Of course, then I got home. Some vile bug finished incubating and knocked me on my butt for three weeks, and scarce days after my return my sweetie decided to become my EX-sweetie.
I still don't understand exactly what happened, and when I go through the e-mails I can't extract any more information than I already have. Everything reads as if she had decided to break up and was hunting for excuses to do it; as soon as I would deal with one reason (by pointing out, oh, what actually happened while I was there) she'd come up with another one. In the end it came down to whether or not I would send her $300 per month. I told her I couldn't--not if I was going to do the other things she wanted me to do--and that was the last I heard from her.
Eh? "The other things"? Well, I've lived here since 2004; originally I moved back here with the intention of regrouping prior to a fresh exodus from the nest, but it rapidly became clear that I was needed here--and I'm glad I was here, particularly after Dad's decline, hospitalization, and death over the past year. Especially since Mom can't drive. The ex wanted me to stop "relying on" my Mom.
I didn't mind the ex's insistence on that; it made sense. I should be independent, so I began making plans to get to where I should already be. But it won't happen instantly and it will take time and money.
But she wanted me to do all that and send her $300 per month. I said, "Look, if you want me to do these other things, I don't think it's possible."
Well, considering the circumstances, it looks as if everything she ever said about not being after money was a lie, because after I told her that, she stopped writing to me.
To go from the elation of being in love for the first time in years and finally getting engaged, to--to having her rip your heart out, take a bite out of it, and stomp on the rest...well, it's not easy to recover from that.
So it's easy to see, I suppose, why I haven't had much of a sense of humor, and why I haven't been in the mood for fun stuff. It takes effort, and you can't force "funny". (Note to ABC programming executives: this is why the
It's not that I'm incapable of humor; far from it. But the drive just isn't there right now. Sarcasm isn't an acceptable substitute, except in certain circumstances; I'm wanting some genuine humor here.
Unfortunately acerbic wit is the best I can do right now. I do tend to have a very dry sense of humor, to the point that people frequently don't get when I am joking and when I am serious. (I never thought I had a deadpan delivery, until someone pointed out that I do.)
Once, a long time ago, some friends and I made some video sketches. One of my friends had read an essay by Isaac Asimov in which Asimov discussed how intelligent he is. He gave all these reasons for thinking he was that frickin' smart; and it led this friend to want to do a parody.
They spoonerized his name (Assic Isimov) and it was about five minutes of the driest satire I ever saw from any of my friends. It was great...and none of them liked it at all. "Nobody ever asks me if I'm really intelligent!" I thought it was funny, but not in the "HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! THAT'S SO FUCKIN'...." sense, but in the smirking "heh" sense.
Then again, it's entirely possible that my then-friends were defective. Somewhere I have about twenty minutes of the same guy who did "Assic Isimov" doing "celebrity impressions" by holding up covers of Rolling Stone to his face with the mouths cut out. This video was screamingly funny to us; but when we showed it to some people far outside our group, there was not a single laugh in the house. I still laugh out loud when I recall his impression of Sting; he stuck his front teeth through the mouth hole and did this hillbilly laugh, "Haw haw haw!" (And right now I'm sitting here chuckling over it because it was damned funny.)
But right now there is very little I can think of that will translate well to a blog, so I'll simply have to hope to do better later on. And I'll leave you with the chorus from a song I heard not long ago on a local rap station:
Girl, you deserve the best things in life
So I hope you have an appetite
'Cause we're goin' to McDonald's!