atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#579: Damn spam.



I don't have much to work with here, but I'm going to do what I can.

Briana Blair makes the mistake of thinking I am a trendy person. I am about as far from "trendy" as you can get and still be a member of Western Civilization. I live with my Mom, work at Target, watch anime, and blog on LiveJournal, for Christ's sake. Briana will probably get in trouble for mistakenly contacting such a non-trendy person with information clearly meant for the trendy people. Which I'm not.

Soto & Blair Sheehan need to double-check the e-mail address they sent their message to. Ain't no "Desiree" here. (See my above comment about not being "trendy".) And while we're at it, is it too much to ask that those two get their own individual e-mail accounts? I mean, it's not like Hotmail charges anything....

Maggie Gomes says that research has shown that my penis can grow beyond its current...what? I'm assuming "size" is the next word.

I don't need "research" to tell me that. I know it can. I would suggest that the Maggie Gomeses of the world look up the meaning of the word "erection".

Percy Nichols informs me that his overall health has improved. Good for him. Now he can work on his spelling.

Ofelia Fernandez offers to help with poor sperm counts. This is something I should probably take her up on. I'm pretty sure my sperm can't count. Or perhaps I'm parsing the sentence wrong, and she's referring to the overall total number of sperm which make less than $19,000 per year; if that's the case, I'm the king of that hill.

Refugio Winkler attempts to pique my curiosity by saying "Only here". But Refugio does not reckon with my ability to ignore his pathetic attempt at being interesting.

* * *

Yeah, I know it's not really all that damned funny. Sorry.
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