atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#5871: While I'm waiting for the paint to dry...

Got all the walls painted, and now I'm just waiting for the paint to dry.

This paint is weird. You put it on, and it looks like it's radioactive. When it's half dry, it gets dark; when it's fully dry, it's the correct color.

Anyway Mrs. Fungus came home and confirmed my doubts about a couple of spots, and the paint was dry to the touch, so I grabbed another roller and slapped on another coat in the trouble spots. There's one place I want to dry thoroughly before I put another coat on it; that was literally the last thing I painted before Mrs. Fungus got home and, as noted above, this paint dries weird.

Look: paint is basically three things. Pigment (obviously), some kind of binder, and some kind of volatile solvent that makes it a liquid. To make your own paint, you can get linseed oil and boil it, because linseed oil polymerizes when heated long and hot enough, and it solidifies. Mix your pigment in the thickened linseed oil and you'll get a colored paste. Add turpentine to thin it to the desired consistency, and presto, you've made paint!

You have not made a modern paint, and it may have certain technical deficiencies, but this kind of formulation was sufficient for the great masters of painting. It won't have any decent shelf life and it'll probably grow mold and bacteria pretty well, unless your pigment is poisonous (like Paris Green, which is an arsenic compound). But if you slap it on something and let it dry, it'll do the job.

Modern latex paint is a bit more complicated. Pigments are typically non-poisonous, or at least benign enough that they're not worse for you than the other chemicals. Latex is the binder; and you have a water-soluble solvent that depolymerizes the latex until it (the solvent) evaporates, at which point the latex repolymerizes and forms a fairly durable film. For the sake of shelf life, the paint also contains bactericides and fungicides to keep the bugs from growing in it.

But this behavior--going from liquid to solid--is why this paint's color acts so weird. In its liquid state the pigment is well-distributed but random, and the titanium dioxide pigment in the ultra white base makes it seem to glow. As the solvent evaporates, the pigment particles line up a certain way, and the other pigments are on the surface, making it look darker. Eventually the paint dries completely, and the pigment particles are all randomly distributed again, and it takes on its proper color.

I'd bet money that the titanium dioxide particles are a lot smaller and more mobile than the other pigment particles are, so they move around more as the paint cures, and that's why it does this.

Anyway! Had to slap some paint over some places where we didn't get the hiding we were hoping for. More anon, and pics when completed.

* * *

"His or her vagina" is EXACTLY the kind of STUPID-ASS GAME I AM NOT PLAYING.

If you have a vagina, YOU ARE A WOMAN. Full stop. And therefore the pronoun to apply is "HER" not "HIS OR HER" because "HE" is not going to have a motherfucking vagina!!!

* * *

And I need one of these. For those times when I'm pissed off because I'm having to enter something again that I just entered and I don't want to sprain my index finger when savagely stabbing the "ENTER" key.

My 1390 keyboard can take more punishment than I can.

* * *

Og has repeatedly suggested that we use Durock to replace the drywall when we get around to doing the shower surround, and he's right. According to him, tile over Durock is pretty much a permanent installation.

The other night I was complaining that the guy my Dad hired to renovate the bathroom didn't use Durock--though I have no idea if it was even available in 1994--and of course regular gypsum drywall dies pretty quickly once it gets damp.

So Mrs. Fungus said that there's probably a bunch of animals in our bathroom walls because of the way the drywall gave out.

I said, "Yeah, there's probably an aardvark in there, saying, 'See, you shoulda used Durock!'"

She said, "That's where the chocolate chips went!"

...I'd had a bag of chocolate chips (or so I thought) in the cupboard, but a couple months ago when I went to make cookies they were not there. Evidently the aardvark in our bathroom walls has been sneaking our chocolate chips!

(But personally I think he's an armadillo who identifies as an aardvark.)

Anyway--Durock, next time, because chocolate chips don't grow on trees.
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