atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#5979: Damn, is it November outside.

Dank, cold, windy, rainy, occasionally snowy.

After seeing Mrs. Fungus off this morning, I laid down and listened to the wind blow. That was a mistake, because I fell asleep, and didn't even get started on my chores for the day until much later. I will be charitable and say "after noon". *sigh*

Since getting the job offer on Thursday, though, I have simply lost all my motivation to do anything house-related. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep.

The thing is, I frequently don't know it when I'm stressed out. When I was an on-site PC tech, there was a kid we hired who was not-bad at the tech stuff, but he quit after a couple of months. Why? "I can't take the stress," he told me.

Me: What? This job is stressful?

It gradually dawned on me that yes, having to go to a customer's place of business and fix the machine he needs operating literally yesterday--that's stressful. I never noticed it; I was too busy doing my job and living my life to pay attention to such minor details. And after I had it called to my attention, it didn't change anything; my habits were established.

...I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Perhaps the job was stressful for him. For me, it was easy. Drive here, fix something. Drive there, fix something. Go back to the office and report in. Depending on what the workload and my schedule said, I'd either go to school or go back out on another service call. I was very good at what I did, and the worst part of my job was driving to and from customers.

But mainly, this event demonstrated one of Mom's favorite maxims: "No brain, no pain." As I said, I don't notice stress unless it's really bad: acute and immediate. If the onset is gradual, it's like boiling a frog.

So, I got the job offer and accepted it on Thursday, and there was this sudden feeling of relief I felt nearly all day. There was a curious lack of sensation in the pit of my stomach when I started to think about my employment situation; for months when I thought about it I'd feel this knot somewhere near my solar plexus that I hadn't noticed before it was gone. And as the day progressed, I realized that I just felt better than I had in months.

And because that tension, that stress, that worry is absent, I'm just relaxing, and my body is saying, "Hey! Time to recharge!"

Could be worse.

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