atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#610: I can't help myself; it's more dumb spam.

Minhphatvn warns me of big waves tomorrow! O wait! I got that e-mail yesterd--[splash]

Adrian Isaac and Jimmy Sheets sent me e-mails with the exact same subject line! What a coincidence! They must be brothers. Or telepathic. Or telepathic brothers! ...who don't proofread before hitting "SEND", apparently. "Privater"? What's that mean? And why the hell would I want my own "privater" Vegas anyway?

What can I say about Moon Kit? There's a joke in there somewhere, I just know it. Something about "build your own" or "some assembly required". Batteries not included, and always read the goddamned instructions!

giles danh wants to give me wardrobe advice. I think. It might be an ad for plastic surgery. "Want to look like you paid millions for your face? Come to E-Z-GO Budget Plastic Surgery Centre! We finance with no money down!" Yeah, that's probably it.

lek tri advises me that I can be sure. This spam nearly got me, because I like to be sure, and I haven't been sure about much of anything since 2001. But it probably was about erectile dysfunction or penis enlargement, two things which have not really been on my mind all that much ever, but for the spam I've gotten about them. Oh well.

Elvira Aaron sez they have it all! Well, damn it, they shouldn't hog everything! Give some of it back or I'm sending the IRS after you. (What's the tax bracket for "everything" anyway?)

Angeline Boyce is telling me they want to offer me the best medical products. All right! Not just medical products, but the best medical products! I don't even care what they are; sign me up! I'll take a truckload of medical products, so long as they're the best! I wont. I don't have room for 'em. Never mind.

Patty Pleiman receives a failing grade in spelling for her message "grosdnal". Oh, wait a second, wait a second...I've been re-reading The Lord of the Rings lately and I think that might be orcish! Yes, that's it! She's sending me a message in orcish!

*Edhering fires up Babelfish....

...why, that bitch! Not only did she call me a nasty name, but she didn't even spell it correctly! Fuck you too, Patty Pleiman! You're on my banned list now!

* * *

Yeah, it's starting to get to me.

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