atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#611: Even more dumb spam!

abbylaurenweston apparently thinks that my e-mail address is missing my real name, and she thinks that real name is "Jasper". I think that abbylaurenweston has too many N's in her name, and the N's don't justify the means. Ha!

Attention bsimrad: I am never ready to rock. You know why? Hair bands, that's why! Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Ratt, and Mötley Crüe permanently damaged my ability to be ready to rock because they sucked, and the radio stations around here played their stupid songs over and over and over AND OVER AGAIN because teenyboppers are fuckin' stupid and thought these bands were so cool. Argh! I hate them! Nasty mangy dirty grubby little....

Andre Drew is telling me I can gain the legendary walloping rod Odell! According to the stats in the Arms and Equipment Guide an ordinary walloping rod does 1d6+1 damage and crit threats on 19-20; a critical hit does 2x damage. But here it says that Odell is +3 (+4 versus undead and spambots) and crits on 17-20 for 3x damage. Even better, it's one of those new "blunt keen" weapons, so if you have the right feats you can double the crit range to 14-20! Awesome!

ellery kristi seems to think that emoticons are reasonable substitutes for punctuation and coherent sentence construction. I think Ellery needs electroshock therapy.

Jody Mcghee says, "bouffant fuckstick for Parker". There is so much wrong with that, I don't even know where to begin. But..."bouffant"? And how can a fuckstick be bouffant? (Assuming, as I do, that "fuckstick" is slang for "penis", since this has the odor of a penis enlargement spam.) Would you want your penis to be "bouffant"? I'm not so sure. "Bouffant" brings to mind something like a beehive hairdo, and that's not something I want to happen to my old buddy.

But I suppose if it happens to Parker, I can live with it. As long as he keeps his "bouffant fuckstick" away from me.

Bobbie Kyle has either discovered the Fountain of Youth, the secret of regressive time travel, or else he is engaging in hyperbole. I'm not sure I'd want to be 18 again. How about 28?

crptruck14xx warns me that "the Wave" is coming! OMG! Recall in my last entry, someone was warning me about huge waves? Flee in terror! Run for the hills!

elsworth warren has somehow learned that I took German for a few years in high school. However, he apparently had the same grammar teacher as ellery, above. And he needs to double-check the name in his "to" line.

* * *

I ordinarily wouldn't do two of these in a row, but I was just so amazed at the plethora of stupidity that got dumped in my spam box I had to comment on it. And what better way?

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