atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#6142: Yep, this is gonna SUCK, all right.

Indiana Jones and the Mysterious Mary Sue.
You know what they are going to do, don't you? That's right, it's going to be a kick-ass grrrl hero who always does everything right. Call her, "Indy Sue." I can already see Jones gawping in amazement at how much better she is at everything than he is. Why she's only twenty one but she knows way more about archaeology than he does and look how she uses his whip in expert ways he never even dreamed of just picking it up. At the end of the movie she will put on the Indy Hat and walk off into the sunset absolutely self assured in her intrinsic superiority leaving old Indy and his audience to gracefully bow out.
It's what they're doing these days.

It's what they do, I'm telling you:
...Cars 3, the one where a girl car is automatically good at everything that Lightening McQueen used to work hard to be good at.
"Female protagonist" automatically means a godlike creature who can do anything perfectly, instantly, without training or effort, because muh girls' self esteem or something.

It's no fun--and it further is lousy storytelling. If you have a character who is instantly better at everything than anyone else, how can your antagonist even make the reader (or viewer) suspenseful about anything? Watching Mary Suewalker in Force Awakens you realize that whenever she's on the screen, she's not going to be injured or killed; she'll barely be inconvenienced by whatever's going on. "I've never even seen a light saber before, yet I can hold my own against someone who's trained to fight with one!" It's bullshit.

I mean, at least in Haruhi Suzumiya the conflict comes from trying to keep her unconscious expressions of her power in check, you know? Haruhi is instantly good at anything she tries to do, but it's a problem--a source of conflict--rather than a deus ex machina. (And the later stories don't even touch on that, but have other sources of conflict.)

...with the result that I have absolutely no doubt that the paragraph encapsulation of the new Indiana Jones movie is 100% accurate.

* * *

This is absolutely typical, and I don't know why everyone is acting so surprised by it. Something that's 100% okay when Democrats do it is a moral crisis when Republicans do exactly the same thing.

Yes, it's hypocritical. You cannot be a Democrat without being a hypocrite.

* * *

You know, when I really listen to this song, it relaxes me, and makes me happy. Why are there so few songs like that?


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