atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#6368: Wow. I mean, just wow.

At work today--

Issue: warehouse people can't log in to wireless scanners. They get an error message saying that the host system denied the connection. Rep who took the original call (not unreasonably) sent this ticket to the gloriously inept offshore team, who took forty freaking minutes to decide it wasn't in their bailiwick and called back. (I say "not unreasonably" because it's a warehouse IT issue, and the offshore team handles warehouse IT issues.)

I got that call. They wanted me to connect with the requestor, so I did. Requestor sent me a screenshot which I attached to the ticket--and that is when the inept offshore guy tells me his team can't fix it.

So, okay, the (inept) Offshore guys can't do anything. I tell them yeah, I'll reassign it, and go out of ready mode to deal with the clusterfuck. Tell the requestor that I'll get it assigned and call the team and so forth, then get off the phone with him and start looking for where to send it.

"AS400" is where inept engineering thinks it needs to go, so I call them; and meanwhile I put a note in the chat app asking if anyone has any idea where I could send this ticket.

The asshat supervisor from the Fort Meyers (ASFM) office chimes in: "Oh, that's [knowledge article xyz, KA XYZ for short]." KA XYZ is what you do if a truck driver can't run his upload from the portable terminal device. To encounter this problem, the user has to have been able to log in first; and in any event this function is an entirely different one from what the requestor was trying to do.

This approximates telling someone to try changing a tire on his car when he's locked out of it.

Me: No, that's not going to help. They can't log in to the terminal.
ASFM: Well, you need to follow the steps.

So he tells me to search on the device name (which I had, already) and I told him that I know how to run a search but the knowledge articles don't contain information for this. He then presents me with two other knowledge articles, KA 123 and KA 098. 123 is about how to cold-boot the device, and 098 is how to configure a new unit.

Neither of which, by the way, answers my original question, which was WHERE DOES THIS TICKET GO.

Okay, so here is the beginning of that conversation, annotated:

Me: Where does this go? Asking for information.
Him: Fix UPLOAD.TXT [the procedure outlined in the KA] A totally useless answer.
Me: They can't login. Me explaining that doesn't help.
Him: They will if you do all the steps. Doubling down on the totally useless answer.

...and then, of course, supplying more useless information.

But I said to him that the previous rep should already have done those steps, the cold restart and so forth, and he tells me that no, when I get the call I need to take OWNERSHIP of it.

I was not possessed of enough intellect to ask, "So, you want me to go back to the beginning and have this guy do all those troubleshooting steps OVER again?" That's a question I wish I would have asked that numbskull. I mean, at some point--when you are coming into the middle of something--you have to assume that the previous person did his job, you know? This was a priority one problem and it had, so far, gone unsolved for forty minutes, which (as detailed in yesterday's post) is most of the hour that priority one tickets are allowed. And considering that multiple users were affected, I think it's pretty safe to say that resetting one unit won't help.

Not to mention that the friggin' warehouse had people standing around doing nothing all the while, and it had people standing there waiting for their will-call orders.

But, hey! I need to take ownership of the issue, right? And waste everyone's time putzing around with PROCEDURES WHICH WILL NOT CORRECT THE PROBLEM. Right?

While arguing with ASFM about this idiocy I was calling every number on the list to get someone in the Networking department to see if they could handle it, because AS400 had told me it's not their deal, either. When I finally got someone in Networking she helped me get to the right place with it, including getting the boss involved so that this issue could be resolved faster.

So then I called the original requestor back. "Hey, you tried resetting it, right?"
"Yeah, we tried that first thing."
"I just wanted to make sure. Generally we trust you guys to be smart enough to do that, but they're on me about it." And noted it in the ticket, that the guy had tried that first, before calling us. Told him we now had the right team working on a solution.

The punch line to all this is that the actual team which should have handled it was the "Corp" team, which is basically three guys who do all the hardware stuff for the entire place.

This is an example of the kind of thing which drives me absolutely bugfuck crazy: when I ask a question, and someone in authority gives me the wrong answer to the wrong question, and then sticks to that answer like it's his fucking teddy bear regardless of what I say. People who do this are INCREDIBLY STUPID, and they hide that incompetence by having absolute confidence in the incorrect information they spew.

Ask someone like that a question to which he does not know the answer, and he'll answer a question about something he does know with 100% confidence, even if it's the wrong answer.

Like this:
"Who gets this ticket?"
"You need to follow the knowledge article I found."
"That doesn't help."
"Well then you have to search for the right knowledge article. Use this keyword. See, I found this one and that one!"
"No, that doesn't help."
"Did you do the troubleshooting?"
"That should already have been done."
"Well, you need to take ownership of the issue and troubleshoot it!"

Just 100% "knowledge article", and "procedure", all spouted by someone who didn't even bother to ascertain where I was in the process but was absolutely certain that he was right and I was wrong.

And here's how that conversation should have gone:

Me: Hey, who do I send this to?
ASFM: Corp.
Me: Great, thanks! it would have gone if that dickhead wasn't a complete fucking know-nothing waste of space who felt like he had to get his supervisin' on because I'm a mere rep and he's a supervisor.

* * *

And speaking of the inane, what the fuck are the Republicans--Trump included--DOING?

What the fuck is this, giving the FBI a week to investigate this shit? There's nothing to investigate. The GOP has already over-dignified this complete horseshit by giving it a public hearing. That vote should have been held today as soon as Kavanaugh's appointment was voted out of the committee!

Stupid fucking Republicans.

* * *

Anyway, time for bed. Here's hoping that Saturday, at least, will be devoid of stupidity....

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