atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#6489: Midiclorians? Fine!

George Lucas, in Phanton Menace, established that midiclorians are the source of the Force. The more of them in your blood, the more powerful you are. Fine. why aren't people sucking the blood out of Jedi, isolating their midiclorians, and then injecting themselves with them?

Seems fairly trivial to me. We've been able to extract blood and isolate all kinds of things from it for decades--platelets, red cells, plasma, etc--and store it for later use. So any time you're in a bind and need a quick shot of Force power--why, it's just a transfusion away, isn't it?

You could build a villain out of this concept if you really wanted to. Darth Dracula! He'd make a game out of catching Jedi and siphoning out their midiclorians and storing them for his own use. "Ha, Jedi-boy! You are now powerless! And I'm going to use your own power against you! Suck on this!" And then laugh maniacally as he force-chokes the now-powerless Jedi.

For me, this is a pretty trivial exercise in examining the consequences of something. If you make the Force the result of something like midiclorians, there are ways for everyone to have it, and it is then nothing special at all.

When explaining the Force to Luke, Yoda said it best: "Luminous beings are we--not this crude matter." Midiclorians mean that "luminous beings are we not," which was doubtless the entire point of Lucas' thumb-fingered retcon.

Darth Dracula would be a pretty cool villain, though.

I thought of all this while showering, once again revisiting the stupidity of Lucas adding, "Noooo!" to the scene where the Emperor is about to kill Luke, only Vader throws him off a balcony.

That scene was perfect, needing nothing; by adding that stupid "Nooo!" Lucas diminished what is, for me at least, the climax of the entire freaking series. That one perfect moment of indecision for Darth Vader, and then his descision to save Luke--it was perfect, just as it was, with no one saying anything, and Vader looking back and forth, then picking up the Emperor and throwing him bodily over the railing.

Lucas, of course, wanted the thematic connection to the idiotic Revenge of the Sith, and of course he's loved parallel construction ever since Spielberg taught it to him during their work on Back to the Future.

It all goes back to "the first three movies are the best". Lucas could never have done those movies unaided, not without them being complete crap; his efforts with eps 1-3 show that pretty handily. Even Return of the Jedi was written by someone competent, not him.

It shows. It shows in the interactions beween Luke and Vader; Vader's decision to save his son is foreshadowed in the scene where Vader says to Luke--gently!--"It is too late for me, son."

I can buy the addition of some special effects to things: "This is what I wanted to do, but couldn't, because the technology of the time wasn't up to it." That was Lucas' excuse for adding all kinds of CGI; and that didn't bother me. Lots of the added stuff enhanced the movie or--at worst--did not detract from the story.

But his other meddling--gah! Greedo shooting first--who could miss at that range? All the changes to Return of the Jedi, including removing Vader's eyebrows and having Whiny Bitch Skywalker's Force image standing by Ben and Yoda, instead of "adult Anakin". Yelling "No!" as the Emperor goes over the rail. These are all things that--had Lucas originally wanted it that way--could have been done at the time. (Granted, it couldn't be Whiny Bitch, because the actor was a toddler then, but it could have been "young guy" rather than "about 50-year-old guy.")

And looking at Return of the Jedi (some channel ran a marathon last weekend of eps 1-7) I can see that a lot of the special effects cleanup was simply not done. One of the problems they encountered with the optical printers is that when they started layering things, eventually there was a kind of "shadow" where the blackness of infinite space looks like a dark maroon, but just around the models. Why didn't they fix that?

What a mess.

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