atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#678: The joys of sequential numbers.

I mean, "spam".

(Interesting point: I tend to write "smap" rather than "spam". I don't know why that is.)

The topic is random gibberish, but the name is cool: Talon Inthisone sounds like a cool character from ZOMGDragonWizardElf! In fact, that'll be the main character! Maybe give it some diacritics to make it cooler: Talön Inthísoné. Heh.

Erectile pill--what an odd name!--asks if Viagra is helping me. Well, it's not, but not for a lack of trying! I'm not even sure what that meant.

Charlene W Sullivan informs me of the existence of all-new databases for the medical profession. This makes me happy, because everybody knows that the medical profession is utterly useless without databases. Why, the entire medical industry would grind to a stop if its databases were taken away. (How would they know who to send the bills to?)

Gregg Flowers and Ashley Eaton both inform me that "this company is experiencing unmeasurable growth". Well, first off, I think "Gregg and Ashley" would be a great name for a retro-70's-revival duet. (They could do covers of all the "Captain and Tennille" and "Tony Orlando and Dawn" tunes.) And second, I think "unmeasurable" growth is a bad thing:

CFO: Well, our company experienced growth this year.
CEO: How much?
CFO: ....we don't know.
CEO: ... You mean to tell me you can't add and subtract? You are so fired.
CFO: It's not my fault! Look at these figures.
CEO: Look, I need to know whether to sell or keep my freaking stock options, you chrome-plated asshat. Here's a pencil and a calculator. Now get busy!
CFO: Hey! You know--damn it, I graduated from Harvard Business School!
CEO: No wonder.

Sex performance--another odd name--advises me that "Viagra cures"! What? Warts? Lumbago? "Female complaints"?

Maybe it's that last one.

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