I have a bread machine. I bought a thing of flour and a couple things of yeast. Fuck it. If I can't get bread over the next few days I can make it; I've got a machine that was designed explicitly to make bread from raw materials.
...okay, okay: "If I can't get bread, I can tell my bread-making robot to do it." Happy?
People are insane. The entire paper products aisle was empty but for a couple cases of paper towels. No disinfecting wipes, I noted in passing, and nearly the entire stock of bleach was gone. Frozen pizzas! The entire frozen pizza section was decimated.
It looked like the day before (or after) Thanksgiving in there, but people weren't buying food--I had my choice of meat and fresh vegetables at market prices with no limit.
Look, you flaming idiots: if you get sick, you're still only going to need an ordinary supply of cleaning materials to decontaminate your home because there's no point to doing it while you're sick. If you don't get sick but your area is put under general quarantine, you still won't need more than a normal supply because you'll come home, clean up, and stop because no one in your house will be sick.
What you don't need is enough cleaning supplies to decontaminate a platoon of zombie hunters and their gear! FFS!
* * *
As for me, I shopped with the idea that I might get stuck at home for a couple of weeks, bearing in mind that I already have a good stock of emergency supplies. Perishables are mainly what I need; if we get quarantined it will not be a gustatory paradise here, but the first week will be the smallest bit light on meat, and the second week will be only a little worse than that. Third week, we'll be scraping the freezers but we won't be lacking anything. If, in the unlikely event it takes a fourth week, we'll be down to beans and rice and canned goods only--but there's a whole bunch of ways to make that taste good, and we still won't be wishing for death before dinnertime.
A fifth week? Okay, now we're getting sick of beans and rice. Sixth, now's the time to break into the rations that the National Guard has no doubt been dropping on our front porch for the last two weeks at least and why didn't anyone TELL ME about this?
No, my biggest worry is being stuck in an extended quarantine and running out of Pepsi. I'm not particularly worried about getting the virus, even, because 81% of people have mild or no symptoms anyway.
Six months from now we'll know whether or not I'm right to feel that way, I guess. But panicking isn't going to accomplish shit, and all panic-buying will do is to leave me with a huge supply of stuff.
Here's what you do if you run out of toilet paper: you keep a couple of old washcloths by the toilet. Once you're finished with your business, you wet the washcloth in the sink and use it to clean yourself. Once you are clean, you wash the washcloth with hand soap and hang it up to dry.
Alternately, you just use your hand, and then wash it in the sink with soap and water. It's disgusting, but you do what you have to do. Anyway, you'll get used to it after the second or third time. (I used to be a CNA. Trust me, I know.)
People survived the Black fucking Plague before toilet paper and bottled water were invented. I think we just might be able to survive this. FFS.