Driving east on $Major_Mushroom_Street towards the highway--which is a two-lane road, no passing, speed limit 55--I'm driving along through the curved portion, minding my own business.
Okay? CURVE. NO PASSING ZONE.
...about maybe 200 feet ahead of me, a cockmonkey in a beat-up Nissan decides he has had enough of going slow behind the vehicle he was tailgating and ducks into my lane.
Okay? ON A CURVE. IN A NO PASSING ZONE. WITH ONCOMING TRAFFIC LESS THAN 200 FEET AWAY.
I braked and swerved as best I could, considering I'm driving a 20-year-old truck, and heard the tires howling as I did, but I could only get about halfway onto the shoulder because a four-wheel-drive truck does not maneuver all that well. I kept my eye on the cockmonkey and saw that the guy he'd been trying to pass was also on the shoulder, mainly (I think) because the cockmonkey himself had only seen me after he was already alongside him and had veered right.
After I restarted my heart and said many unprintable words, I looked over my shoulder--no accident, fortunately. If there had been, I would have stopped and made sure the police knew who was at fault. I briefly considered turning around and going after the cockmonkey, at least to get his license plate, but then realized that would be stupid and a waste of time.
People around here are going fucking insane lately. It's like they get on the road, don't see as many cars as they're used to, and think it's open fucking season. I've driven at 40 MPH in a 35 zone, being tailgated by some shithead, past the fucking police station.
The speed limit in that stretch is 55. A lot of people go 50 through there out of sheer habit; that road has been 50 MPH east of town as long as I can remember, at least until they rerouted the pavement and got rid of the S-curve. But some people just can't stand it when they get caught behind someone who isn't going as fast as they want to go, and as this COVID-19 horseshit goes on they get increasingly insane about it. "I'm an essential worker! Get the fuck outa my way!"
If that stupid fucking asshole had hit me--if I'd been involved in any kind of accident because of him--I would have made sure to sue his dumb ass. Probably only get whatever his insurance had--assuming he had insurance, of course--but even so, make sure his insurance premiums skyrocket.