atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#7828: It's a man's life in the Beecher Police Department!

So when I went to PT yesterday, I had a couple minutes before they were ready for me. Picked up a copy of the Southland Voice and scanned it while waiting...and just about laughed my balls off at this column head:

"Village of Beecher Appoints Interim PD Chief Lemming"

And I heard this:

..only "BPD" instead of "BDA":
Lemming! Lemming!
Lemming of the BPD
Lemming! Lemming!
Lemming of the BP Lemming of the BP-BP-BP-D-ee-eee!!!
...unfortunately I could not find the whole thing, where someone says, "It's a man's life in the British Dental Association" and then Graham Chapman comes on dressed as some kind of army officer, and puts a stop to the show, because they're infringing on the army's motto: "It's a pig's life--man's life--in the modern army!"

Anyway, it's taking me too long to explain why I busted out laughing as soon as I saw that story in this little small-town rag, but I thought it was hilarious.

* * *

Did you hear? More kids were shot in Chicago this year than died of the Wuhan Flu nationwide. But of course Chicago got all butthurt when Spike Lee did a movie called Chiraq.

Kids don't need masks or vaccines or social distancing to keep them from getting the Coof, damn it.

Chicago, however, is a lost cause. People are blaming the Coof and crime, but of course it's mostly the crime. A bunch of bloggers warn, Stay out of the cities, and I'm one of them, because unless you have a really compelling reason to venture into one of those shitholes--like, "I'll die if I don't get the chemotherapy that's available only at that hospital in the middle of Bluetown"--you're a hell of a lot safer just staying the hell out.

Decades of democrat rule is bringing home to roost a whole flock of chickens...and of course the small businesses are the ones who are paying the most dearly for it.

* * *

Everything you want to buy is stuck on a ship in the Pacific, or in a container in California.
Currently, more than 100 container ships are waiting to enter US ports from coast to coast. Some of the largest congestion is in San Pedro Bay off the port of Los Angeles, with more than 61 vessels waiting to enter. Dwell time for vessels is six days, the wait time for on-dock rail is nearly 16 days, and then it takes an additional week to move the container on the street to warehouses.
Yeah. There literally aren't enough cranes, trains, or trucks to move the backlog of containers to their destinations.

* * *

China is having a really big problem with their housing market.

* * *

Modern feminism has reduced women to being nothing but people who menstruate. That's right, you don't have any personality or anything other than your periods, ladies. Enjoy.

* * *

Anyway, it's finally Friday. This week seemed egregiously long, but now I can relax a bit. I hope.

I need to cut the grass tomorrow. Or Sunday.

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