Then he'd machine-gun "HappyholidaysfromtheHendersons," shut the thing off, check his watch, and give a smug nod and chuckle. Then Joan Cusack would come into the scene and give the pitch.
The only problem is, I know of no phone company which bills in fractions of a minute. They also bill from the moment you press SEND until the moment you press END.
But even if they only charged for the actual connect time, this dude's asinine behavior wasn't saving him any money because it was still counting as an entire minute's worth of connection.
All the cell phone commercials I've seen have been pretty stupid that way.
* * *
And now, headlines!
Hundreds of scientists reject global warming. So much for "concensus".
"I have not seen any sort of definitive, scientific link to man-made carbon dioxide as the root cause of the current global warming, only incomplete computer models that suggest that this might be the case.Sounds reasonable to me.
"Even though these computer climate models do not properly handle a number of important factors, including the role of precipitation as a temperature regulator, they are being (mis-)used to force a political agenda upon the U.S.," [research physicist John W. Brosnahan] continued. "While there are any number of reasons to reduce carbon dioxide generation, to base any major fiscal policy on the role of carbon dioxide in climate change would be inappropriate and imprudent at best and potentially disastrous economic folly at the worst."
Another feather in the cap of the "religion of peace". Islam strkes another blow for womens' rights! Err, against womens' rights, that is: "'Women who do not respect the hijab and their husbands deserve to die,' Hojatolislam Gholam Reza Hassani told the news service ADN Kronos International."
Isn't that lovely? Welcome to the "peaceful" religion of Islam, where you deserve to be killed for wearing the wrong kind of clothing. Yeah.
Testosterone linked to humor. This may also explain why so many female comedians turn out to be lesbians. (And why the non-funny ones don't. Although too many of the lesbian ones are still not funny. Yes, I'm talking to you, Margaret Cho.)
European Union carbon dioxide laws are causing economic woes. For their auto industry.
The EU is setting CO2 emission limits of 130 grams per kilometer by 2012. After that, any CO2 emissions over that level will be fined at 20 euros per gram, scaling up to 95 per gram in 2015.
Welcome to Europe, where CO2 costs more than gold. Lots more.
All those big fancy German cars, like the big BMWs and Mercedes--they're not exactly "carbon-neutral", if you get my drift. Expect this measure to hurt them; they may have to move all their plants to less-strict countries. "BMW: The ultimate driving machine (*made in China)"? You never know.
Zimbabwe's $750,000 note won't buy a loaf of bread. Kind of reminds you of Weimar Germany, doesn't it? Only Zimbabwe doesn't have anything like the kind of economic machinery that Weimar Germany had, so don't expect to see a "black Hitler" come out of Zimbabwe.
I am not thrilled with either of the two front-runners in the Republican primary. I'm still a Thompson man. But that may not last beyond January--and so I'll have to figure out which of Mitt and Huck I prefer. But I don't think much of either one of them, to be honest; still, Romney has a slight edge over Huckabee.
Given my druthers, though, I want Thompson. Then again, eight years ago, I wanted Forbes.
(What? "Ron Paul"? Ron Paul doesn't understand why we're in Iraq. I rejected him two weeks after I learned of his existence.)
David Limbaugh analyzes what Bill Clinton would be like as "first gentleman".
* * *
I'm getting to the time of year when I want to put the politics part of my brain in neutral. For me, the holidays have long been a "politics free" zone. Christmas is not about politics; it's about the birth of Jesus. "Thems what don't like it am out of luck."
* * *
Some time ago I saw some pictures, on-line, of someone's "Wiccan" wedding. I don't, in general, have a problem with other religions--at least, not ones which are actually peaceful and spiritual.
Islam doesn't count, I'm sorry to say. It won't until it joins the 21st century and starts denouncing suicide bombers, Islamic jihad, Sha'ria, etc, etc. The way it's practiced now in much of the world, the religion is barbaric, intolerant, sexist, and violent--and none of those is characteristic which applies to a "good" religion. I mean, look at the link above, where a prominent imam says that women who don't wear hijabs should be killed. Not just them, but also their husbands and fathers.
That's not a "religion of peace". That's a religion of death.
I know most Muslims aren't like that--but as long as they stay silent when such things happen, they grant tacit approval to the ways their religion works, and those are emphatically not good ways and not good works.
But anyway, back to the wedding: although the "high priest" wore a silly black cape, otherwise it seemed like just about any other wedding, really. Not a big deal, and if it made the happy couple happy, who am I to judge? I don't condemn Wiccans as "satanic"; anyone who is capable of understanding that his beliefs aren't necessarily natural law should be able to tell the difference between a Wiccan and a Satanist. Most of the Wiccans I've known have been really nice people. I wouldn't mind having a Wiccan as a neighbor. Not so for a Satanist; those people are insane.
But I noticed that all the women participating in the wedding--save the bride--were fat. And it wasn't even remotely surprising. Because all the Wiccan women I have met--again, save one--have been fat. You know the type. If you've ever gone to a con or a Ren faire, you've seen them. If they wore revealing costumes you may have shied away in horror.
I'm not being critical; I'm just making an observation. I like women with a bit of extra mass, and half my girlfriends have been "plus size". Reubens and I would have seen eye-to-eye on some issues, I expect, and there's nothing wrong with a few extra pounds, particularly when they are distributed in the right spots.
...but it was just so stereotypical I couldn't help noticing it, is all.