November 5th, 2007

#678: The joys of sequential numbers.

I mean, "spam".

(Interesting point: I tend to write "smap" rather than "spam". I don't know why that is.)

The topic is random gibberish, but the name is cool: Talon Inthisone sounds like a cool character from ZOMGDragonWizardElf! In fact, that'll be the main character! Maybe give it some diacritics to make it cooler: Talön Inthísoné. Heh.

Erectile pill--what an odd name!--asks if Viagra is helping me. Well, it's not, but not for a lack of trying! I'm not even sure what that meant.

Charlene W Sullivan informs me of the existence of all-new databases for the medical profession. This makes me happy, because everybody knows that the medical profession is utterly useless without databases. Why, the entire medical industry would grind to a stop if its databases were taken away. (How would they know who to send the bills to?)

Gregg Flowers and Ashley Eaton both inform me that "this company is experiencing unmeasurable growth". Well, first off, I think "Gregg and Ashley" would be a great name for a retro-70's-revival duet. (They could do covers of all the "Captain and Tennille" and "Tony Orlando and Dawn" tunes.) And second, I think "unmeasurable" growth is a bad thing:

CFO: Well, our company experienced growth this year.
CEO: How much?
CFO: ....we don't know.
CEO: ... You mean to tell me you can't add and subtract? You are so fired.
CFO: It's not my fault! Look at these figures.
CEO: Look, I need to know whether to sell or keep my freaking stock options, you chrome-plated asshat. Here's a pencil and a calculator. Now get busy!
CFO: Hey! You know--damn it, I graduated from Harvard Business School!
CEO: No wonder.

Sex performance--another odd name--advises me that "Viagra cures"! What? Warts? Lumbago? "Female complaints"?

Maybe it's that last one.

#679: Signs that a series is stupid

When you make jokes about the girl finding gay pr0n and an ass dildo in the guy's bedroom, you know the anime is boring.

I'm talking about Tokimeki Memorial, of course.

It's New Year's Day and Aoba-kun is at home alone, so the three girls come over, spontaneously, without telling him. Volleyball girl, swim girl, and Sayuri.

Sayuri volunteers to go to his room to get another game, and that's when I started cracking the jokes. "She leaves the room and then Aoba says, 'OMG I forgot about my ass dildo!'"

When Sayuri was hesitating to open the door, and then finally opened it, I cracked another "ass dildo" joke: "WHAT IS THAT ON HIS DESK??" When the other girls came in--because Sayuri spent about 25 minutes mooning over being in Aoba's room--and volleyball girl opened the closet door, I made another joke about Aoba having a huge cache of sex toys and gay pr()n.

Then I made a joke about Aoba-kun hitting it raw with Doujima, the big guy in the back of his classroom that always gets his ass kicked by Hiyoko. I think it's the only possible explanation.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

When Tokimeki is over, I am going to be glad, because it's got to be the most boring series I've watched in a long time. I mean, it's not even as interesting as Mamotte Shugogetten was. Nothing happens in this series. It's a loosely-connected series of high school slice-of-life and harem comedy chichés. There's a bit of weirdness in it, provided by Hiyoko and the high school's teachers, but it's nowhere near enough to save the series from the utter lack of anything interesting happening.

If there was some decent fan service in it, it might be different, but there is very little of that.

Today I watched episode 22. Considering the tone of the series I am interested to see how Aoba-kun manages to get Sayuri without breaking the hearts of vollyball girl and swim team girl into millions of tiny fragments. 'Cause I am certain that he ends up with Sayuri.

Why is it that these high schools are full of hot girls who don't have boyfriends? I mean, really? In the first episode Sayuri is identified as the prettiest girl in school bar none--and she's a junior when the series starts, so why doesn't she have a boyfriend already? Is she that stuck up? Are her standards that high? And if so, why on earth is she interested in Aoba-kun, who's a freaking stupid, indecisive, wishy-washy wimp? I mean, this guy has to have a freaking baby chicken defend his sorry ass!

And I find it hard to believe that volleyball girl doesn't have a boyfriend before meeting him. She literally runs into him one morning and decides, "He is my destined man!"

Why the hell this crap gets to be 26 episodes long and Umisho only got 13 is beyond me.

* * *

I'm up to episode 19 of Seto no Hanayome and I agree wholeheartedly with the wisecrack tucked in by the fansubbers--"I'm already missing this series". 7 eps left and I'm enjoying it a lot, and I'm going to miss it when it's over.

But there's plenty of Pretty Cure left. I watched ep 20 today, but the first series goes to ep 49--and then there is Pretty Cure Max Heart, which is the second series and picks up where the first one leaves off. PCMH is 47 eps long, so I've got plenty of Nagisa and Honoka action to last me a while.

There should have been more Momoiro Sisters, damn it. 24 5-minute episodes wasn't enough. (Momoko didn't even get to lose her virginity.)

I suppose I ought to start watching the current season of stuff--I've got up to ep 5 of most of the series--but I want to get through the older stuff before starting the newer stuff.

And I'm still thinking about that Magic Knight Rayearth box set, of course....