March 8th, 2008

#952: I thought that crap was EXTINCT!

Here is an image I shamelessly stole from I Can Has Cheezburger:

I thought trilobites had gone extinct, like billions of years ago. (Okay, millions of years ago. Tens of millions. You know.) But whatever those things in that picture are, they are not crabs and they are not lobsters. To me they look like the descendants of trilobites, and that's freaking icky.

Okay: actually, I understand what's going on here. Trilobites evolved the way they did in response to environmental conditions, and these crabs or WTF-ever they are evolved this way due to similar environmental conditions. But it's still freaking icky, damn it.

I can only hope these taste good when steamed and dipped in butter.

...but it's not the way to bet.

Interesting fact: in 2005 my Japanese friend (or ex-friend, or ex-girlfriend, or WTF-ever she was) took a trip to Thailand with her friends, and while they were there they ate horseshoe crab, which is an endangered species. (Well, the Japanese variant is. It lives in the Seto sea--guess the Seto clan may have something to do with that....)

What the Wikipedia article does not mention is that apparently they neither taste nor smell good. They are endangered only because of habitat loss. I have a picture of the Japanese woman in question, with a friend at a restaurant in Thailand, holding up the cooked horseshoe crab with a dismayed and disgusted look on her face. The picture was originally captioned in hiragana: "Kusa~i!" meaning, "This smells BAD!"

It seems like any species which is older than the current geological epoch doesn't taste good. I wonder why that is?

#953: But a PROSTITUTE...

I love this bit from South Park. I have from the moment I first saw it. Including James Taylor in the sequence was just priceless. (To find it on YouTube, I entered "chef sings about prostitutes" in the search bar, and that was the first link. Google should work so well.)

The stuff about the horseshoe crab in #952 made me dig out the archive of my e-mails with Satomi, because I couldn't remember "horseshoe crab"; while trying to find the name I got to reading the archived e-mails, which led me to thinking about how much I liked her and how sour things went.

...but, I wondered, what about Marlene, the Filipina who ripped my heart right out of my chest, took a bite out of the still-beating organ and then--her hands and face smeared with blood--threw it to the floor and gleefully tap-danced on it?


I'm not the kind of guy who precipitously throws major insults around. I'm not. But she warrants the label.

I made myself go through the entire thing.

Item: Everything was great until my last night in the Philippines.
Item: Everything was great until she said she wanted me to give her a monthly allowance.
Item: After I replied, "You're my fiancee, not my wife", she decided to call the whole thing off.

If the success of the relationship depends on me giving her money, she is a whore. I think that's pretty obvious. Actually, she's worse than a whore, because at least a whore is honest about her motives!

"Pretty obvious", that is, to most people who are not me. And so I had to painstakingly examine everything about the end of that relationship to realize that what killed it was the fact that I would not send her money.

In actuality I would have sent her money. After I said, "you're my fiancee, not my wife", I said that I wouldn't have a problem with sending her some money for miscellanious expenses and things. I thought about $100 per month, since she was living with her parents; $100 per month is a hell of a lot of "pocket money" in the Philippines as many families live on about $3000 per year. But as it turned out she wanted $3600 per year from me ($300 per month).

I wanted things to be otherwise, which is why I had so much trouble facing the truth of the situation. But it's a fact: she's a whore, the worst sort of whore imaginable.

Satomi at least was honest with me: she wanted to marry and have children, and that was her primary reason for looking for someone--at age 37 (at the time) she was bascially an "old maid" in Japan and had spent enough time abroad that she wanted out of Japan anyway. She'd lived with a Scotsman for about a year before returning to Japan, and eventually she dumped me (politely and fairly) and returned to the Scotsman.

I shouldn't have been as critical of Satomi as I was here. Even if she did break my heart, she was decent about it.

Well, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them, and to accept the consequences.

Somehow it led to an epiphany: Dude, you're not getting a girlfriend. You're not in a space where that can happen, so F it--just concentrate on being as happy as you can be, as things are! Stop worrying about the bitches and do your own thing for a while, and just concentrate on doing your job and fixing your cars and whatever the hell else floats your boat.

Life is too short for a man to make himself miserable over things he can't control--life does that to you more than enough without that.

Why is that so hard for me to understand?

#954: One of these things really DOESN'T belong....

One of the people in the above picture is not a woman, but a man who dresses as a woman for profit. Can you figure out which one it is?

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I can only assume he started as an amateur, but since I know nothing about the lives of transvestites AND LIKE IT THAT WAY I have no way of knowing.

This is another thing that came from my foray into trying to remember "horseshoe crab". I found a link to the pictures and it still worked. O Lord.

#955: News stuff

There is no consensus on global warming. Sorry. "...68 per cent [of 51,000 scientists and other professionals polled on climate change] disagree with the popular statement that "the debate on the scientific causes of recent climate change is settled."

Again, I don't know of anyone who seriously argues that the climate is not changing, that the Earth has not warmed in the last 100 years. Where we disagree is on the cause; most "climate change skeptics" do not claim to know why the climate is changing, not that it is changing. Hell, it changes all the time.

It looks like the Grand Canyon is three times older than we thought it was. How long have geologists been studying the thing? Since it was discovered, or what? There is a consensus on the age of the Grand Canyon, and these canyon age skeptics should all be arrested.

School shooter stopped by armed student. The school in question is in Israel, which has a slightly better idea of what effect "gun control" has on crime.

Sadistic killer lesbians. Women who are sexually excited by brutality killed their roommate "because she was annoying". Yeah, but Sally Field told us that if women were in charge, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.
One of the lesbian murderers was a self-styled "vampire".

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I read a thread on the Fiero Forum about a guy getting reamed to the tune of $3000 for a transmission rebuild for his Lumina. Yeech.

The parts were hideously overpriced, for one thing. This was at an Aamco fanchise.

It makes me think spending the money on the required sets of tools might not be such a bad investment after all. Cripes. Let's see, $3000 for a rebuild, or $1000 for the tools plus $500 for the latter case, I've spent $1500 and can rebuild other transmissions of the same kind.

It's not rocket science and as long as you get everything clean and don't roll the parts around in cat litter before installing them--and follow the rebuild manual to the letter--it seems to me someone with my qualifications could manage it rather handily. It might take me a week, but I'm not afraid of trying it.

And that way I know exactly what's gone into my transmission.

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AnimeSuki was down for a while. But I see Love GetChu ep 9! Finally, a new episode! Wa-hoo!!!!!

I'm so easy to please it's pathetic. Oh well.