March 7th, 2009

#1485: More about that abomination in #1484.

It's as if the people behind that thing read Watchmen and said to themselves, "Okay, how can we fuck up everything in that book?"

I imagine the pitch for this thing. The pitchmen are flying to Great Britain and eagerly discussing how they'll "knock 'em dead" with their pitch, culminating with the video. They're wondering why the hell Moore and Gibbons said that they didn't think it would make a good show for kids--this stuff is gold!

So on the day they sit down with the creators and talk about market penetration, royalties, merchandising, blah-blah-blah...and then show them the cartoon.

Moore, I imagine, gets up and leaves in a huff about fifteen seconds in. Gibbons sits through the whole thing. And the pitchmen whisper among themselves: Does he like it? He's not smiling. The other guy left. What does that mean?

The video ends, the lights go up, the pitchmen turn to Gibbons. "So...what do you think?"

In my imagination, Gibbons says, "I think it's a bloody shame you lot lived through your childhood diseases. When you rung us up you should have just said 'we took a maggoty, runny shit all over your story'; you could have saved us all a lot of bother."

Then he gets up and ambles out, leaving the pitchmen in stunned silence.

* * *

The cartoon--in case you didn't watch it, for which I would genuflect to your wisdom--takes every single story element and turns it on its head.

Rorschach is a jolly guy with a silly voice, always clowning around. (And he loves animals.) Silk Spectre is a rock star; the Comedian is her greatest fan and wants her to kiss him. They show Ozymandias saving the Comedian after he's thrown through the window of his high-rise apartment. Bubastis talks and has a silly voice.

I would not doubt that--in this version--the Black Freighter is crewed by the cast of Hello Kitty and plasters the world with happy stickers.

All that stuff in the comic which makes the story complex--and which made it new and successful in 1985--is the stuff that keeps it from being "safe for children". If Watchmen had originally approximated that horrible trailer it would have vanished without a trace.

In the real version, Rorschach is anything but "jolly". Laurie didn't even want to be "Silk Spectre". The Comedian--well, there's something wrong with him wanting Laurie's kiss, let me just say that. (In order not to spoil the story for the five or six people out there who still haven't read the GN.) And the other stuff--O Lord.

* * *

Maybe the pitchmen thought that the money would be enough for Gibbons and Moore to say, "Yeah, what the hell." I don't know. I do know that even mercenary old me would say "not just no, but 'hell no'" to someone mangling one of my stories like that.

After reading the Wikipedia entry on it I doubt that Moore was even in the pitch meeting--he won't see the film and refuses to have his name attached to it.

Assuming this isn't some kind of parody, then the fact that this cartoon never entered real production is indeed a sign that God exists.

#1486: Let them eat cake!

Perhaps someday the history books will talk about Obama and Marie Antoinette*--or Nero--in the same terms. The economy is tanking big time yet Boss Tweek has lavish parties for insiders "nearly every night".

On, it must be mentioned, the taxpayers' dime.

* though hopefully Boss Tweek won't get the guillotine.

* * *

Meanwhile the Democrats who have to do something to justify their paychecks are really, really angry at Republican intransigence.

The Democrats have 59 votes and need 60, for procedural reasons I shan't go into here. The Republicans are showing some kind of spine here, which invariably infuriates Democrats.

I wish I could say that I think the Republicans will stick to their guns and make the Democrats come up with something that isn't so stinky, but it's only a matter of time before someone caves, probably to pork-barrel spending for his state. If there is one core principle that Washington Republicans can't seem to hang onto it's "fiscal conservatism".

That's why Al Franken really wanted the Supreme Court of Minnesota to seat him as that state's senator--because if he were seated he could cast the deciding vote for the porkulus bill. Problem is, his Republican opponent is doing his damndest not to let Franken steal the election. The initial couple of counts of the votes showed the Republican winning, but Franken and the Democrats have managed to manufacture enough votes for Franken that he now has a slim lead.

The whole process is tainted and Minnesota ought just to have a new election--but don't expect that to happen unless the Republican comes out on top, somehow. If he does, expect Harry Reid not to seat him...and then there will be a new election and another opportunity for Democrats to try to steal the Senate seat.

* * *

This is the height of hypocrisy. This is the woman who went for an abortion, the baby was born alive--though so premature it probably would not have lived--and which was then stuffed into a "biohazard" bag and disposed of while it was still alive.

Okay, here's the deal: you went in for an abortion, and the baby you didn't want is dead. You can't say that the abortionist is responsible for a "wrongful death" when you went there to have the baby killed--not unless you're prepared to agree that you have culpability in the baby's murder, too.

Her lawyer claims that she "didn't sign up for" seeing a live baby thrown away--well, tough shit! "Throwing away" a live baby is exactly what she signed up for, and now she's upset and suing because she had to see it? I suppose if she hadn't actually seen the abortionist murder the kid she'd be perfectly fine with it?

What a load of shit. Put everyone involved in this shit behind bars.

* * *

Yesterday I got Gunbunnysmit to 50th level. It doesn't seem materially different from 48th level.

It's been long enough since I played that character that--after going up two levels!--I still have not come to the end of the "rested" XP bonus. Gunbunnysmit sat in an inn at 48th level for a long time while I played Calandraxyzz, Emwyn, and went to Maine....

I have to wonder how many levels Torgilgrimm can get at 200% XP bonus--or would, if I played him, which I don't because I can't seem to move him ten feet without something three levels beneath him splattering his guts all over the landscape....

* * *

Another LOL for your amusement:

Okay, true, Secretary of State, but that's still a "secretary"....