From the Doctor Who episode "Horns of Nimon". That episode was basically the story of the Minotaur and the Labyrinth, told in an SF setting. The "minotaur" was a race of creatures known as the Nimon, which would suck a planet dry of life and energy in order to move on to the next one. The labyrinth was a gigantic gravitic circuit which was always changing. This is the episode where Lalla Ward finally figured out how to be hawt.
Anyway the people who were "tribute" to the Nimon brought crystals of a power metal called "himetucite" (hy-met-you-site) which were big blue crystals in clear spherical containers. The ship was old and creaky and the assistant pilot tried to make a shortcut and screwed something up; the Doctor fixed the thing with some himetucite and good old-fashioned Gallifreyan know-how. The assistant pilot betrayed the Doctor, leaving him in a gravity pocket which was going to become a black hole, and then tried to explain to Soldeed, the Nimons' contact on this one planet, what happened to delay the ship and where two crystals of himetucite went, without mentioning the Doctor or the alleged "shortcut". The pilot was a stupid bully and a thug, and the actor did an excellent job of playing the part.
Pilot: ...so I adapted the engines to run on hamachusett!
Soldeed says the word with a very dangerous grin on his face, and it's a very funny scene. The pilot ends up becoming Purina Nimon Chow, of course.
Homestar Runner is a font of funny quotes.
Homestar sits at Strong Bad's computer while Strong Bad is taking a phone call and proceeds to answer some e-mail for him:
Homestar: Whoa, that TV has words on it. 'Strong Bad, what is your favorite leg? Jess and Tiff.' Uh...'Hey, crapface, why dontcha you blow it out your ear. Your buddy, Strong Bad.' Whoa, another one. 'Dear Strong Bad: How do you type with gloves on your hands?' Ohh, even I know what to do with this one! Baleeted!
Here's the link to that specific Strong Bad e-mail. I just about know it by heart.
The Right Stuff:
Werner von Braun (in a thick German accent, of course): It is conceivable that we could put up a pod...
Lyndon Johnson: A pot?
WvB: a PAWW-D. ...we could put up a pod with some kind of specimen inside.
LBJ: A spaceman?
The Monty Python sketch, "Another Dead Bishop on the Landing":
Wife (Terry Jones): We should call the police.
Husband (Eric Idle): Shouldn't we call the church?
W: We should call the church police.
H: All right. [shouts] The church police!
Church constable (Michael Palin): ...Yus?
Monty Python--I could fill a months' worth of entries from that source. This is the one that's been stuck in my head most recently, and unfortunately the one person at work who knew Monty Python as well as I do left.
Murray, the invincible demonic skull: Foolish mortal! For your insolence, I shall now devour you! ...um, could you pick me up, so that I can bite you?
Guybrush Threepwood: No!
Murray: Just...thought I'd ask.
There are about half a million quotes from the D&D table; here's a representative sample:
"So there we were, all vomited and sticky and frozen...."
"Can I duck behind a leech?"
"Pull the bone!"
"We went to hell together. It was a bonding experience."
Overheard at the "Dead Dog" party for an AnimeIowa: "It's not illegal to take deer with medieval siege equipment."
...and I've gotten to the point now where they're not popping into my head, so I think I may have satisfied my need to vent, for now. Which is probably just as well, since I think the majority of these are only funny to me, anyway....