January 29th, 2016

#5058: Youah Terminated.

So, Celebrity Apprentice is going to be on, and who do you think will be in charge?

Arnold Schwartzeneggar.

As soon as Mrs. Fungus told me this, I realized that rather than Trump's trademark, "You're fired!" Arnold's saying will be "You're terminated."

I can see this dystopian future as clearly as I can see the monitor in front of me, but I am powerless to stop it.

* * *

If it wasn't for this post I would have completely forgotten that today is Challenger day.

A proper retrospective will have to wait, but I'll get there.

Meanwhile, this.

* * *

Scenes from an economic depression. I doubt it'll sell for $55, but it will sell for far less than its typical $250,000 price.

* * *

So today I get this call....

"So, yeah, uh...I paid my bill on the 21st, and #Major_Telecom didn't take the money out until, like, four days later, and I got an overdraft." What did he want? He wanted #Major_Telecom to pay his overdraft fee.

Uh, no. No. And if I got a failed survey on that one, I'm going to fight it, because IT'S YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT YOU CAN'T DO ARITHMETIC, YOU ANUS.


People are idiots.

#5059: Obama's really taking care of people.

Mrs. Fungus works for a company that handles drug rehab and counseling. She's a call center rep and helps people get scheduled for treatment and such. Today she got a call from a man who has Obama to thank for everything.

"What kind of insurance do you have?"

"Obamacare." (He meant "Medicaid".)

"Do you pay a premium, or do you get it through work?"

"Oh, I don't work."


"Is there another number we can contact you at?"

"(xxx)YYY-ZZZZ. That's my Obamaphone."


"So, what are you using?"

"I use heroin. Until my money runs out, then I wait for the next check."

So, in fact, this guy is using Obamaheroin.

Isn't the Great Society wonderful?