March 16th, 2016

#5123: Risible

Teacher's need money two, you no, dudes?! "Ah yes, the humble apostrophe. Everytime you use an apostrophe to make a plural, a puppy dies."

That is exactly so.

* * *

Ah, the lamentable passing of Yet Another Rhodes Scholar.

The deceased scumbag burglar was caught climbing out of someone's window, and she shot him. The would-be scholar's cousin went on record as being extremely upset that her special snowflake cousin was killed while committing a fucking felony:
The sister of the teen who died identified him as Trevon Johnson. She said he was a student at D. A. Dorsey Technical College.

“I don’t care if she have her gun license or any of that. That is way beyond the law...way beyond,” said Johnson’s cousin Nautika Harris. “He was not supposed to die like this. He had a future ahead of him. Trevon had goals...he was a funny guy, very big on education, loved learning.”

On Thursday, police say Johnson burglarized a home south of 79th Street near I-95 — just blocks away from where he lives.
If you are burglarizing someone's home, and you get shot, it is not the homeowner's fault you were shot; it is yours.

Perhaps one of Trevon's goals should have been something like, "I will not commit any burglaries or other crimes which might get my stupid ass shot."

* * *

At 11:41 PM, they have called Illinois for Trump and Hillary. Rubio dropped out. Mark Kirk, sadly, won the primary against his challenger, what's-his-face, but that was kind of a foregone conclusion. Incumbents almost never get kicked unless they screw up in spectacularly messy fashion.

I'm hearing tell that with today's primaries, Trump just about has the nomination sewn up. Good.

This vignette only fits into the "risible" category because the GOP has made it necessary for the rank-and-file to nominate someone like Trump instead of a regular Republican, and because the GOP elite's second-most favorite (Rubio) has been knocked out of the race, finally, after losing his home state. He was the guy they'd pinned their hopes on after Jeb Bush stepped on his dick. And because even now the GOP elites don't want to get behind Cruz.

* * *

Signing off and heading for the tub!

#5124: "Ass Bomb"? What the HELL

Last night, while waiting to see if the washer was running right, I cleaned out Dad's old desk.

This desk, when it first arrived in the bunker sometime in the early 1980s, saw use as my computer desk. I had the old C-64 proudly perched atop it, and had various things in various drawers, and it served me well until I decided I needed more room in my room and put the desk downstairs (in fact, where it sits now) with my 64 on it. Later, after I put the 64 into its box and moved on to other things, Dad decided he'd use the desk himself, and there he'd do his bills and other paperwork.

Fast forward twenty years.

I found, last night, an entire drawer full of checkbook ledgers, and made to throw them out, but Mrs. Fungus wanted to see one. I pulled one out at random and handed it over to her, then 86ed the rest. She looked through it, making note of this or that debit, then said, "Ass bomb?"

"What?"

"$148 for 'Ass Bomb'," she said.

"Well, maybe Dad had a colonoscopy that year. He might have called it that to be funny."

"Here's another one, for $152."

At that point, I looked at the thing myself--a recurring charge for a colonoscopy? That doesn't make any damned sense--yet there it was: "Ass Bomb", $148, and the next month, $152, and the month after. This was late 1994, well before my father's faculties began to degrade.

Scrutinizing the writing, a little later, I'm not so sure it says "Ass Bomb", but none of the other alternatives I can think of made sense, either. "Ass" is easily dispensed with as an abbreviation of "assorted" or "association". The second word, not so much; the last letter didn't really look like a B, but an "ls", and that would make "Bonls" or "Bomls" depending on how one interprets the up-and-down squiggle that comes after the O. Maybe "Bowls", but why would there be a recurring charge for (one assumes) "assorted bowls"? "Ass Bonds", maybe? But my parents didn't have any bonds, as far as I know, and there are too many squiggles for that to be an N, anyway.

Well, I tossed all that nonsense, so whatever "Ass Bombs" means, I'm going to have to live with the mystery.

* * *

Tried calling the 800 number on the water heater, and a recording told me I can't reach that number. So I'm going to proceed with the maintenance myself.

* * *

Just now, Mrs. Fungus and I were recalling the Christmas parade here in the Fungal Vale, and further recalling that--for whatever reason--one of the floats was Star Wars themed and had Darth Vader standing there. "What," we asked each other, "does Star Wars have to do with Christmas?"

Anyway, today:

"Luke, Santa did not fill your stocking. Santa does not exist. I filled your stocking."

"Nooo! That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Search your feelings! You know it to be true!"

"NOOOO!!"

* * *

Karl Denninger makes a note to the GOPe regarding Trump, and he's right: the GOP is right when it says that political parties nominate candidates; but what they seem to be forgetting is that the people vote on those candidates and they are not required to vote for the candidate nominated by their party.
If the GOP holds primaries and caucuses, the people select someone in those contests and then the GOP refuses to honor that choice they will have destroyed themselves by declaring that the people are not the party.
No matter what they do, if Trump secures enough delegates to win nomination and he is not nominated--especially if the nominee ends up being someone who wasn't even running--it will demonstrate the GOPe's complete contempt not just for their own voters but the political process in general...and so doing will prove they are unfit for further responsibility, or any at all.

America was founded on the republican principle that people would select people to represent them in government. "No taxation without representation", for example--but if we the people are voting for delegates and candidates, only to have that choice overturned by a star chamber of unelected party elites, we are no longer a functioning republic, and the "Republican" label becomes a poor joke. Change the name to the Tyrant Party or the Fascist Party, because the whole notion of representation has been thrown out the window.

This is just breathtakingly arrogant of the GOPe.

Any party which does this deserves to be destroyed. And if the GOPe thinks that they can get away with doing something like this, they will soon learn how wrong they are, and we'll have Hillary Clinton as President.

* * *

Also, can we just stop with the manufactured smears, already? Politico is unhappy because the Trump campaign denied their guy press credentials after Politico ran a whole bunch of nonsense about a reporterette supposedly being manhandled by a Trump campaign staffer.

Here's the thing: if you leave the designated press area--even if it is only eighteen inches--you're going to be put back where you belong, and because the Secret Service takes their job seriously they are not likely to be gentle about it, particularly when they are protecting someone who has already had a bunch of threats leveled against him.

Denninger has it right:
This sort of attack on candidates by so-called "political media" who don't like this person or that is nothing new. But the so-called "political media" needs to keep in mind that while they're free to cover anything they'd like they do not have a right to be on private property to do so without permission and if they're going to write utter and complete crap in their exercise of the First Amendment they can and will lose the special access they had previously been given.
The press does not like that, of course, and the GOP in general has allowed this sort of environment to continue: "Well, we'd better stay on their good side and let them in." I think that's a mistake, and when you catch someone writing shit, you should invite them out and not let them back in.

* * *

Anyway, I have miles to go; further updates as events warrant. But already I am stymied by the need for a 1 1/16" socket. Argh etc.

#5125: Well, dang it.

I could not budge the anode on the water heater. Not with a breaker bar--the heater itself kept moving--not with the impact wrench after bringing my f-ing compressor downstairs, and not after hitting the breaker bar with a hammer.

Plus side: got the thing completely drained and flushed, and refilled, and we'll see if the water was stinky because of sediment. I hope so.

...and I found, next to the water heater, what looked like an unused anode. So I don't need to go buy one; and in fact if I could just get this one out maybe it would turn out not to need replacing. But I don't know, and that's the problem.

Anyway, we'll see how the water smells tomorrow, I guess. Crossing fingers that it was just because of sediment....