atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#788: Back to headlines

Yes, it's the first post-holiday Atomic Fungus news digest. IN no particular order:

WHat do Christians do when someone steals the baby Jesus from a creche and replaces it with a pig's head? Do they:

a) Riot and kill and burn everything in sight
b) Angrily denounce those responsible and send out suicide bombers to retaliate
c) Blame the United States and Israel, and vow bloody retribution
d) Sigh, shake their heads, call the police, and deal with the matter peacefully

Whoever did this stupid thing apparently forgot that it's Jews and Muslims who don't like pigs. Christians get to eat pork, unlike those other religions, because Jesus taught that there are no "unclean" foods. (Also, we get to eat shrimp. Another reason to be thankful for Jesus.) I suppose that when you're going to replace the baby Jesus with the severed head of an animal, you take what you can get, but never having wanted or needed such a thing I suppose I don't really understand.

I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that perhaps the people who are the most likely to have parasitic infections aren't getting them because we don't have socialized medicine.

"More than 2 percent of adult Latinos may be infected", says the article. How many of that two percent are illegal immigrants from Mexico, I wonder? Oh, but I shouldn't ask that question.

Inner-city black children may have a high rate of parasite infection--why do you suppose that is? Forty years of Johnson's "Great Society" has made the "inner city" what it is today; more socialism is not the answer.

The New York Times, not surprisingly, is reporting a "disappointing" holiday season. Of course. The same numbers under a Democrat--all else being equal--would be "better than expected" or some such.

One sample does not a survey make, but the store I work at met or beat its sales forecasts this year. If that's "disappointing", bring it on!

Of course, if--let us say--John Kerry were in the White House now, we wouldn't be hearing much of anything about the issues facing the housing market right now, either. The stories--if they saw print at all--would be buried somewhere near the obituaries or want ads, and no one would be talking about the issue.

Carson Daly caves to corporate pressure! ...well, actually, NBC told him that if he didn't go back to work, they'd fire him and his production staff. A moral stance is all well and good, but if you're going to cut off your nose to spite your face, you shouldn't make everyone around you do the same thing. Carson Daly did the right thing.

It's all well and good for people to be critical of his decision, but it doesn't affect just him. People who are angry at him for going back to work would do well to consider the 75 people who work on producing his show, and what they should do about a situation which has nothing to do whatsoever with their livelihood.

Walter Williams discusses interracial crime statistics. Yes: there are black-on-white hate crimes. Lots of them. A lot more than the media will tell you about.

General Petraeus should be Man of the Year instead of Vladimir Putin.

WTF, Time? Oh wait, Bill Kristol explains it in his article: endorsing Petraeus would mean that Bush is right and Iraq can be won. That doesn't fit the template. On the other hand, Time can go back to its old standby rule of thumb for selecting man of the year: "When in doubt, choose the communist."

I wonder how they managed to choose between Al Gore and Putin? Guess being ex-KGB put Putin over the top. (Pat Sajak wrote a satirical column suggesting that Gore wanted a recount. Heh.)

Not loving the idea of homosexuality is, in Canada, a "humans rights violation". You don't get to dislike it, not in Canada. And fate forfend you should actually express disapproval of homosexuality in public or in print. That can get you in some real trouble!

In Canada, the "Taliban" wears purple and lisps, I suppose.

* * *

As for me, I just had leftover turkey, noodles, and gravy, and topped it off with a slice of caramel pecan silk supreme pie.

That pie--I swear, it must've been invented by some kind of sociopath. It's a layer of pecan pie, a layer of cheesecake, and a layer of french silk, topped with a thick layer of whipped cream.

I don't like pecan pie by itself, and I don't like french silk by itself--but those two with the layer of cheesecake and whipped cream--OMG.

This sociopathic chef, laboring in Baker's Square's kitchen laboratories, came up with his ultimate expression of hatred for fat people and people on diets when he invented that pie. "They won't be able to resist this. They'll be crying and eating it at the same time!" And then he cackled with glee and had his hunchbacked helper preheat the oven.

...maybe not.

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