atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#1057: Boiling a frog

You all know how you can put a frog in a pan of cold water and turn on the heat, and the frog won't notice he's being boiled to death, right?

I mention this because I have distressing evidence that I'm no smarter than that.

In yesterday's post I discussed various gut malf, doctor stuff, etc. I worked until 5 AM Tuesday. I got home and watched the penultimate episode of House, MD, which I'd set the VCR to record. Talked to Mom at 7 AM, then hit the hay. Called the doc's office at 9, made appointment, went to bed again until 11:30. Got up, went to doc, did everything else...and ended up being awake until 10 PM. On four hours' sleep.

Had a shower, took pills, hit the hay like a laser-guided bomb.

This morning, then, I woke up for an unusual reason: I woke up because I couldn't feel my gut.

You know how it is, when you're in pain, and the pain just suddenly vanishes, you get that nice feeling? It's endorphins--your brain is still making endorphins even though the pain has gone, and because there's no pain to offset the endorphins, you get a kind of high from it.

I lay there, pondering the fact that I couldn't feel about 50% of my colon, trying to remember the last time I had been unable to feel it, and realizing that it's been quite some time. Weeks.

People with chronic bowel conditions know what I'm talking about. Being cursed with symptomatic diverticulosis (at my age) and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), I have a double-whammy going on which ensures that it's a rare event for me not to be aware of my sigmoid and part of my descending colon. It's like having mild food poisoning all the time. You get a few moments' relief from time to time, here and there, approximately at random, but otherwise it just goes on continuously.

People without chronic bowel conditions don't understand that. I envy them. And so when you tell someone that you're not feeling well, they look at you like you're a whiner. "What? Your gut again? Why don't you get it fixed?" Sure, will do, as soon as modern medicine figures out how to clone an entirely brand-new-freaking-colon for me. Believe me, there is little more that I would like than that. If Belldandy came out of my mirror and offered me one wish, I'd have a hard time choosing between fixing the gut or the chronic hypoglycemia. (Yeah, I know, just wish for "perfect health" and that would do it.)

It's not a "tummyache". You can't just take a dose of Pepso Bismol for it. The best explanation for IBS I ever heard was that your gut is basically allergic to poop. (That wins the prize for the most useless organ ever, IMHO.) It's more complex than that--IBS is considered an autoimmune disorder, so it's not quite the poop that the gut is allergic to--but it's a neat encapsulation of the problem.

And so this morning I lay in bed, unable to feel about 50% of my gut, and it felt marvelous. And not just because of the endorphins. It felt great because this is what people with normal guts feel like all the time. (Mostly.)

But I usually don't feel much from the ascending colon; most of the "action" is concentrated in the "downside". That made me realize that--over the past couple of weeks--the ascending side has been getting less and less comfortable, culminating with cramping and pain Monday night.

The ciprofloxacin is kicking the ass of whatever is making my colon so unhappy, my colon is fighting back, and the end result was a brief window of no pain or discomfort that made me realize just how bad things had gotten by Monday night. Sheesh, no wonder I felt like such crap--and it came on so gradually that I never realized that my gut was hurting until the sudden absence of pain led to an endorphin rush.

So it leads me to wonder if I've got anything at all on frogs in the brains department. *sigh*

* * *

Okay! No more gut talk.

What was the teacher thinking? No, strike that; I don't think actual thought was involved. "Thinking" would require the teacher to consider the universality of her prejudices.

Of course, she could have fallen back on, "Well, people who disagree are stupid/evil/crazy/Repugnican/Nazi/Bushitler" to save herself from actually considering that maybe her opinions are not natural law. Still, when someone considers his opinions the same way he considers, oh, gravity, the idea that not everyone agrees with said opinions is the furthest thing from his mind--and challenging his opinions will prompt an explosion of fury and hatred.

The headline of this story gets one important fact wrong. It says "man" where it should say "immature fucking moron". He's a college student but he's got the emotional maturity of a five-year-old.

The douchebag in question was arrested for throwing candy at a cop. The cop in question was investigating a hit-and-run and was questioning the pinhead's drunken friend. Pisshead said he was "sticking up for his friend" by throwing the candy at the cop. The cop arrested bonehead, who then proceeded to urinate in the back of the squad car.

Many of the comments, predictably, are from a bunch of equally nonsentient fools who make fun of the cop.

If you interfere with a police officer who is attempting to do his job, expect consequences. The idiots complain "what a waste of taxpayer money!" and blame the cop, but the cop's not the one who's wasting the money; the butthead throwing the M&Ms was.

The overgrown kindergartener threw M&Ms at the cop because he was "sticking up for" his friend? What, you clearly think the cop is in the wrong but you don't have the stones to try to slug a cop? Obviously on some level the drunken fool was capable of realizing there was a line he didn't want to cross, so why the freaking hell did he think it was all right to pelt the guy with candy? Other than, of course, the fact that most cops won't shoot you or hit you with a tonfa or "tase" you for throwing candy, but will do so if you try to hang a mouse on 'em. (And cops can typically fight a lot better than drunk shit-for-brains undergrads.)

The cop reacted to the situation with decorum and restraint and let the legal system do the talking. Arrest the butthead for "assault" and let him sit in jail--it means some extra paperwork but even if the charges are dismissed, the kid suffers a penalty for his stupidity.

Many people don't get that part of it. Yeah, if the charges are dropped you don't have to go to court again, or anything like that...but you've already been handcuffed and taken to jail and left to sit there waiting for help from mommy and daddy. (Or from a good friend if mommy and daddy aren't available.) You don't end up harmed but you have a lot of hassle to deal with--and that's the cop's revenge on you. You didn't get to go home and go to bed; no, you had to spend the night in jail (or at least until bail arrived) and deal with all the other BS.

Assuming that the cop handcuffed this baby correctly--hands behind his back--he must have just wet his pants in the back of the squad car.

Probably because he realized, "Oh shit I'm going to jail ohshitohshitohshit!"

* * *

I am so freaking sick of American Idol. It's such crap. And it depresses me to see the coverage of a stupid TV show in the newspaper. WTF.

Other local media mentioned that Chicago is ranked 8th in "courteous drivers". I call "shenanigans", because Chicago drivers are fricking horrible. When I lived in Iowa, those people are a lot more courteous than Chicago area drivers are.

* * *

Spaceweather says we may have a sunspot. It's not really a sunspot yet but it could become one.

* * *

Am I the only person who is capable of realizing that Paul McCartney is a buttplug?

I have never been enamored of the Beatles. (John Lennon was not a "genius", either.) As pop musicians go they were capable artists, but they're not the do-all-be-all of music, and the men in question are/were not somehow greater than the rest of us.

Ergo, Paul McCartney is a buttplug. Lexus sends him a freaking car that costs about $160,000 and he bitches about how the car was delivered!

The car costs more than 99% of the people in the world make in a decade (US and Europe included!) and this idiot is bitching because Toyota flew it to him? Anus!

* * *

UAW unwittingly helps GM. Workers go on strike at an axle factory which supplies the pickup truck and van assembly plants.

GM has a rather large inventory of full-size trucks and vans owing to the fact that gasoline is extra-expensive right now. (Hit $4.08 here in Crete yesterday. Ouch.) So the union is helping GM: GM doesn't have to pay anything for workers who go on strike.

This comment and the one following it are especially good.

This is hilarious: man auctions his Porsche 928 with a turbine engine. And looking at the questions in the auction is also worthwhile.

As much fun as something like that would be, I doubt the neighbors would appreciate me firing up the Turbo Porsche at 9 PM and roaring off to work, even if it did make me sound like Batman. Besides, as someone points out in the comments, a jet engine operating near idle is horribly inefficient.

* * *

Full moon on my birthday. I don't know what that means for me. *sigh*

* * *

Limbaugh is playing some sound bites from Barak Hussein Obama's visit to his hometown, Cape Girardeau, Missouri, and the "stupid" is making my brain ache. (Barak Hussein Obama's "stupid". Rush is rarely stupid when he's broadcasting.)

If a Republican had said what I just heard Barak Hussein Obama say, Demokrats would hail him as "the next Dan Quayle".

Remember: If George W. Bush isn't qualified to be President because he misspeaks, then Barak Hussein Obama is as well.

On the other hand, if you accept that everyone makes verbal slips, then this shouldn't cound against Barak Hussein Obama.

Conservatives who harp on this point (as I am doing) aren't saying that Barak Hussein Obama is not qualified to be President because he can't speak well without a TelePrompTer; we are merely making the point that if Dan Quayle is an "idiot" and "Bushitler" shouldn't be President because they make verbal blunders, doesn't that mean that Barak Hussein Obama is also stupid and unqualified for the Presidency?

Of course, I must remember rules 7 and 8 from THE LIST:
7) If a Republican mis-speaks, it's because he's a complete dolt and is unfit for public office.

8) If a Democrat mis-speaks, it's because he's a genius and has "nuanced" patterns of speaking, and you're a petty evil bastard for parsing every last word.
So there it is.

* * *

If my gut wasn't being a pain I could conceivably get something done in the garage, but it's hard to stomach (pun intended) physical work when you feel as if your intestines have been gouged out.

Besides, it's cold and wet outside.

We're going to have a few more days of this kind of weather, but before long the temps will rise and it'll suddenly be summer.

I've been mentally tallying a parts list for the Escort-Fiero Hybrid project and thinking about how to solve various problems.

For example, I decided to use an Escort master cylinder for the clutch. So what'll happen--once I have the drivetrain mounted to the Fiero's engine cradle--is I'll go to a boneyard and strip a bunch of parts from an Escort. Whee!

It's starting to look like I'm actually going to attempt to do this. Here I thought it was an idle speculation, but I guess not.

But that's fine. I can do it. I got mad skillz. Or something.

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