atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#1125: Todays OoTS is GOOD.

Welcome to the village of Lickmyorangeballshalfling! This is why you never mess with someone who can see the future. Ever. I'm just sayin'....

But if you are not one of those folks who follows Order of the Stick you won't understand a) what's happening, or b) why it's so damned funny. I suggest that you either go back to the beginning and read all (as of today) 568 strips--which is always an option--or just ignore this.

'Cause nothing says "you are so utterly boned" like setting off a Mark of Justice.

* * *

Speaking of marks of justice, Al Sharpton and his crew are getting subpoenaed by the IRS. "Personally, Sharpton owes $931,397 in federal taxes and $365,558 in New York City taxes, according to an IRS lien."

Sharpton thinks its political, and wonders why an investigation that began in December is continuing past December. That's easy: because they found stuff that made them look deeper. You know, when an obviously rich man owes nearly a million dollars in federal taxes alone, that makes the IRS wonder what else you've been hiding? Come on, anus--you tried to cheat the system and you screwed up. Maybe next time you'll hire a better accountant.

* * *

Well, we have our first American socialized medicine horror story: a woman with lung cancer, covered under Oregon's state health care plan, was not eligible for chemotherapy under the state plan. The state would pay for palliative care and/or assisted suicide, but not chemo.

In other words, the bureaucrats said, "Look, we don't care what your doctor thinks. We're not paying for chemotherapy for you."

This is the mantra for any socialized medical system: "We can't cover everything for everyone." (This particular quote comes from "Dr. Walter Shaffer, a spokesman for the state Division of Medical Assistance Programs".)

Get used to it. Under any socialized medical program, there is rationing, and it usually hits the sickest and the oldest the hardest: "Sorry, we can't cover you, so you'll just have to go die. Have a lollypop."

* * *

All this over 250 milligrams of plutonium? I'm sorry, I think that's a bit much. They're acting like it's another freaking Chernobyl. Once it gets into the waterways, it'll be so dilute as to be utterly undetectable. There's more radon in water than that.

* * *

I had hoped, and figured, that something like this would happen long before incandescent bulbs were actually outlawed. It's not going to stand; it can't--not just because it's an egregious government intrusion into peoples' lives, but because there are certain applications for which compact flourescent (CF) bulbs simply will not work.

Not to mention the fact that incandescent bulbs are so cheap to manufacture that supermarkets can sell four-packs of the things for a dollar and still make a profit on 'em. Break one, you literally release nothing into the environment.

Not so with CF, of course. They contain up to 5 mg of mercury, which is bad for you, and the EPA wants you to treat a broken CF bulb like a major chemical spill and have the room decontaminated. (, we think it's okay just to air out the room and carefully clean it up...yes, we know what we said before, but we're saying this now.)

And they cost around $3 each.

But is the ban unconstitutional? I pretty much doubt that. Congress can ban whatever the hell it wants to, within reason and as long as it doesn't violate the Constitution; banning a certain type of lighting element is well within their constitutionally-granted powers. They could certainly ban CF bulbs if they wanted to.

But WTF, I don't care as long as the incandescent ban is lifted long before it goes into effect. We don't need this kind of nanny-state BS anyway. People who are interested in saving money in the long term can buy the CF bulbs; people who want to save it in the short term can buy incandescent. That's the way it ought to be.

* * *

I'm sure this is news to anyone who doesn't live in the Chicago area, or anyone who supports gun bans: Chicago politicians can have guns in Chicago, but citizens can't. Yeah, that's right; the columnist makes the point that only criminals and politicians have guns in Chicago.

This is a surprise? It's business as usual.
My favorite example from previous columns is the case of Anthony "Spittles" Pizzirulli, a top Democratic Machine precinct captain. Spittles was a city foreman when he was discovered at one of the top hotels in Chicago, the Ritz Carlton, in a $760-per-night room, though he made $51,000 a year.

A hotel busboy noticed that Spittles had a gun. And what a gun it was. Police found it, and noticed its serial numbers had been filed off—a federal offense the last time I checked. They also found recreational drugs.

In the lockup, Spittles kept insisting—gun or no gun—that he'd walk in a few minutes. But not before he spit on a female sergeant, told her to find another female to have sex with and made rude comments to other cops who wanted to slap him.

But they couldn't. Because just then, in walked a powerful Chicago alderman and that alderman walked him out, just as Spittles had predicted.

Ald. William Banks (36th), the younger brother of 36th Ward boss Sam "Pastries" Banks, arrived at the station and demanded to speak to the commander. They had a conversation and Banks expressed his point of view, that Spittles should walk.

Spittles walked hard. He was fired but never served prison time for his blatantly serial-number-deficient handgun.
You try that yourself, you lousy peasant, and they'll lock you up for the rest of your life. Forget throwing away the key; they'll use it to weld the cell shut. You might get some sunlight and fresh air once in a while.

...but if you're a politician in Chicago, you're one of the anointed. Those pesky gun laws, they don't apply to you; they only apply to the peasants, the stupid, clueless, ignorant voters out there.

Why be surprised? Chicago's a Democrat machine city, and has been since shortly after settlers arrived. This is how they operate: one rule for them, and another rule for the vulgate.

Just like, now that I think of it, Soviet Russia, where the Party officials had special stores that the proles weren't allowed even to enter, much less shop at....

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