atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#1150: How not to televise fireworks.

Just saw a prime freaking example of how not to do it on WGN.

Chicago had its big 4th of July celebration on the 3rd. No, I don't quite get it either, except that it's a Democrat machine city. Anyway, the fireworks were televised on channel 9, WGN, and it was pretty much the crappiest production I think I've ever seen.

Some idiot producer/director clearly thinks his "artistic" instincts are the shit.

We were treated to all kinds of "artistic" pans and zooms and fades; in particular there were all kinds of stupid close-ups. Look! It's the mortars firing shells! Look! It's some guy's boat! Look! It's the fireworks reflecting off a building! Look! It's the light of the fireworks on the water! Look at how cool this extreme close-up of a burst is! Here's four shells going off at once, in extreme close-up, so you can't see the pattern of the bursts!

Earth to moron: fireworks are meant to be seen from a long way away. NOT IN CLOSE-UP.

The end result was that the impressiveness of the fireworks display was completely obscured in a morasse of stupid videographic tricks. The moron managed to have the active camera zoomed in on each and every chrysanthemum burst--and a crysanthemum burst, in particular, is meant to be a big impressive sparkly golden flower in the sky. What we saw was a couple of tendrils of sparkles and a little wad where the shell had burst.

There were some shells which had this really cool "waterfall" effect, something I've never seen before, but of course that had to be shown in close-up, too, so the effect was utterly invisible to the home viewer.

And while we're on the subject of stupidity, the music--they played a medley of various "current" pop music instead of something more appropriate or--gasp, the very idea!--letting us hear the sound of the freaking fireworks going off. If you have to have music, might I suggest John Philip Sousa? Or if that's too American for you, how about Tchaikovsky's "War of 1812"?

And not to put too fine a point on it, what freaking asshat thought Lenny Kravitz's version of "American Woman" was appropriate? The song "American Woman" is anti-American. We muted the sound when that one came on and didn't bother to un-mute it again.

If you're going to celebrate Independence Day, at least celebrate it. If all you're going to do is make it into a generic politically-correct celebration of God-knows-what, don't fucking bother, or have it in August or something.

Yeah, I'm kind of pissed off about this shit.


Not to mention the two fat douchebags they had doing commentary and shit before the fireworks started. They were so stupid and lame they were freaking saying so, "ha ha only serious"-style, in the runup to the fireworks.

How aggravating.

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