atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#1178: The funny side of the story.

Skydiver with prosthetic leg goes skydiving. Leg falls off.

Now imagine this scene:

It's a pleasant day, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith are barbequing in the backyard. The kids are splashing in the pool, the dog is lazing in the shade, and all is well.

THUD.

Mrs: Honey, what was that?
Mr: Eh? I don't know, it...OH MY GOD IT'S A LEG!
Mrs: A leg?
Mr: ...oh, it's a fake leg. A prosthetic leg. (looks up) Where the hell did it come from?
Jr: Wow, cool! An artificial leg! Can we keep it?
Dog: (at leg) Woof! Woof! Woof!

...This is goddamned funny.

* * *

PROVEN! Hot Wheels radar gun sets off radar detectors! Awesome! Fricking awesome!

* * *

"I didn't know I'd go to jail for freedom of speech." No? Most people are smart enough to know that if you are in court and you call the sitting judge an "asshole", you are probably not doing yourself any favors. "Freedom of speech" has several constitutional limitations, and one of them is that you don't get to insult a sitting judge.

* * *

Ann Coulter. "What we really need is a car that runs on Democrats' lies." O I love her.

* * *

Step 1: Bush rescinds executive order banning offshore drilling.
Step 2: Oil prices fall $10 per barrel in the following 2 days.

...

Step 4: Profit!

* * *

Og on the New Yorker cover fiasco. I think he sums the issue up rather neatly. Og's smarter than he lets on.

* * *

It was a beastly hot night at the store. I'm glad I don't work tonight. I drove all the way home with the AC on, and immediately got into the shower when I arrived.

The massively incorrect weather station in Crete is reporting that it's 101° outside already, but it's not. It's closer to 80°. It regardless is on the way to being a hot freaking day; and the most strenuous thing I have planned for outside this house is maybe going out for Chinese food later on. Maybe.

* * *

Two morons now look even more stupid after attempting to rob a woman with BB guns. The woman in question had some big strong men as friends. (Don't they always?) The two morons got their shit handed to them, in detail.

They're lucky the young woman didn't own a handgun. They might have ended up in the morgue instead. If I have a handgun, and you come after me with a weapon that looks like a lethal weapon, I will shoot your ass even if it is actually a BB gun you're holding. I'm nearsighted.

* * *

Barak Hussein Obama, who originally said he would negotiate with Iran without any preconditions, now wishes to prevent nuclear proliferation. He says he wants to rid the world of nuclear weapons.

Go back to the Ann Coulter article. This is another "...and then a miracle occurs!" situation.

Step 1: Barak Hussein Obama is elected president.
Step 2: Barak Hussein Obama is inaugurated.
...
Step 4: Utopia!

Um, no.

* * *

With the latest tankful of gas, I got 36.17 MPG in the red Escort. This is only 9 MPG less than the real-world economy of a Toyota Prius.

* * *

Today's time waster: EvilMadScientist.com. Lord o' mercy, there's a lot of interesting stuff on that site.
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