atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#1260: An open letter to a moron

Dear Mr. Silver Dodge Magnum:

I personally want to thank you for risking my life this morning so you could save yourself a few seconds on your commute to work. I realize that the cars in front of you were going unfairly slow and not accelerating as fast as your hemi-equipped station wagon can, which is why you felt it necessary to pass both of them at once, in a no-passing zone, only getting back into your lane a few car lengths in front of me--thus narrowly avoiding a head-on collision which probably would have killed me and sent you to the hospital.

I know how tough it is to have a big car with a powerful engine, and I understand how important you are; little old me is a nobody in a $400 econobox, so why should you worry about me?

Of course, you're an expert driver, so no one was really in any danger, even though you were passing in a place where you could not possibly see oncoming traffic (hence the no passing zone, but that's only for mortals, not for your exaltedness!) and there was patchy fog. Such considerations only matter to those poor useless people who don't know how to drive, of course! They don't apply to you.

Still, I think I should warn you that if there had been a collision, I don't think the police would have thought you were justified in passing two cars at once in a no passing zone, even though you are really important and were in a super hurry. They tend to take a dim view of people who disobey things like speed limits, stop signs, and passing zones.

In closing, let me express my awe at your incredible driving prowess. You are clearly a man among men.

Yours etc
Atomic Fungus
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