atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#1626: Lucky for him he's not my kid.

Stupid, stupid kid "borrows" his dad's truck to go to DQ. Problem: kid is 14 and doesn't even have a learner's permit. He makes a left turn where one's not allowed and a cop goes to pull him over.

Kid tries to run.

Okay: if you're driving a Chevy Tahoe, there is no way in hell you can get away from any cop car made after 1981. It's a truck, okay? It's got a ladder frame and leaf spring rear suspension which supports a solid axle; the police car likely has an all-independent suspension and a much better power-to-weight ratio than that truck does.

Even under the best of circumstances--say, you're Bo Duke in the General Lee and you're being chased by Enos--cops have radio and they can easily let other cops know where you are and where you're heading; "head them off at the pass!" is not just for cowboy movies.

So the ensuing car chase ends the way they almost always do: the moron kid wrecks the thing, and wrecks it bad.

At the end of the video clip the cop tells the kid that he made an illegal left turn; when the kid mouths back the cop says testily, "You're 14 and don't have a driver's license. Why would you even argue with me?"

Now, here's why the kid is lucky he's not my kid.

Punishment #1: grounded for the rest of high school. I'm not kidding. Because he'll be:

Punishment #2: paying for my truck. I'm not sure what the law is in that particular state but some places your insurance won't cover the damage if an unauthorized family member drives the car and it gets wrecked. It seems to me that the delineation would be, "Was he arrested for GTA? No? Well, it's not covered." In any event, the kid would at least pay for the deductible.

Punishment #3: And he would never, never, ever drive any vehicle belonging to me. Furthermore I wouldn't buy him a car; he'd buy a car out of his own pocket--and pay the insurance--or else he would walk. Or ride a bike.

"Oh, come on!" You say. "Why be Hitler about it? He only made one little mistake!"

No; he made three mistakes, and two of them were whoppers.

First mistake (big one): taking the car at age 14.

Second mistake (little one): making an illegal left turn.

Third mistake (biggest one): running from the cops.

#1 and #2--even taken together--aren't really so bad in the grand scheme of things. Kids do dumb things. You ground him for a month or so, make sure he understands that he is never to take any vehicle without permission, etc, etc. And it should be damn hard for him to convince you to let him borrow your car, ever.

#3 is why he needs the "draconian nazi parent" treatment. Running from police is a felony, particularly when it involves hitting 100+ MPH on city streets. You do your best to keep the cretin out of jail, but do not let him get the idea that he somehow got away with being egregiously stupid. Make it plain: this time is a freebie; next time you won't even come bail him out.

Because if there is a next time, he's safer in jail.
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