atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#1873: Has it really been seven years?

Seven years ago, on 1/02/03, was my first day working at the nursing home. It was employee orientation and I didn't actually start wiping bottoms until the next day, but it counts.

Damn it. Seven years.

* * *

Haruhi continues to be poorly written. I realized--belatedly--that the tone of the story attempts to be wry, but the humor of that can't get through the lousy writing.

Kyon is an ordinary guy dealing with extraordinary circumstances, and in spots the author tries to show it by having Kyon interject wry, unspoken responses to whomever he's talking to. But it doesn't read well.

I'm going to include some sample text here:
After school the next day.

Since I was on cleaning duty, I was late to the club room and found Haruhi playing with Asahina.

"Stay still! Stop struggling!"

Haruhi had again half-stripped a resisting Asahina.

"Kyaa!"

Asahina screamed upon seeing me enter the room.

I took one look at Asahina standing in just her underwear before taking one step back through the mostly opened door and shutting it.

"Excuse me."

I waited ten minutes. The duet of Asahina's lovely shrieks and Haruhi's shouts of enjoyment came to an end. In its wake, Haruhi spoke. "You can come in now!"

I entered the room and was promptly struck dumb.

A maid stood before me.

Clothed in dress and apron, Asahina, on the verge of tears, sat in a chair and quickly turned to give me a forlorn look.

A white apron and wide-hem flared skirt with blouse. The pristine white stockings had a very fine luster.

A flawless maid.

"Well? Isn't she cute?" Haruhi said proudly, as though she had something to do with it, while patting Asahina's hair.

I can agree with that. I fell sorry for Asahina, sitting dejectedly with a pitiable look on her face, but she looks ridiculously cute.

"Anyway, that's a job well done."

Ignoring the whispered, "No, it isn't," from Asahina, I turned to Haruhi.

"What's the point in dressing her up as a maid?"

"When it comes to turn-ons, you can't forget about maids."

Again I have no idea what she's talking about.

"I thought hard on this matter."

You only think about things that are better left alone.

"Stories set in a school always have an alluring character present. In other words, stories begin whenever an alluring character is present. You could say it's inevitable. Understand? Mikuru is a Lolita and a timid person and also possesses an important element of turn-ons, being well-endowed. If you put her into a maid outfit on top of all that, her turn-on factor will jump up like crazy. Anyone can see that she'll set records for turning on people. It's like we've already won."

What are you trying to win?

While I was basically struck speechless, Haruhi had gotten her hands on a digital camera and was saying something about taking pictures to commemorate.

Asahina, face flaming red, shook her head.

"Don't take pictures...."

You can get on your knees and pray or whatever. If Haruhi says it will be so, then it must be so.
The quote is presented here as it is printed in the book, without any alteration. And as you can see, it's not very well-written.

I didn't cherry-pick this sample; I just paged through what I had read until I found a chunk of text that I thought I could present out of context without having to explain what was happening.

Now:
After school the next day:

As I was on cleaning duty that day, I was late arriving at the club room after school, and what else did I discover but Haruhi again playing with Asahina?

"Stay still! Stop struggling!" Haruhi had again half-stripped Asahina. They paused in mid-struggle as I slid open the door to the club room.

Asahina reacted first. "Kyaa!" She screamed.

I paused only long enough to say "Excuse me," and to take a look at her standing there in her underwear before stepping back through the door and closing it.
Heh. I rule.
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