atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#2039: Holy crap, is my appetite back?

For the past couple of months I haven't been eating much; I've been "off my feed", so to speak, to the point that Mom has noticed it and commented on it multiple times.

I'm a big guy and it takes a lot of food to keep me running. I'm 6'2" and weigh 260; I have chronic hypoglycemia and only a modest spare tire, one that is more or less typical for a man in his 40s who isn't a health nut. If I don't eat, I'm on the floor. Period. Yet over the past six months I haven't been eating as much as I'm accustomed to eating. It leads to headaches, wooziness, and other unpleasantness, but if you're just not all that freaking hungry why force-feed yourself? I ate enough to stay alive and moderately healthy, even when I had to force myself, but why force myself to eat like a trucker when I'm not hungry?

It's probably a combination of factors: illness, depression (what on Earth do I have to be depressed about?) and gut troubles. Any one of those tends to damp the appetite; I've had all three. All I know is, I've been taking smaller portions at meals, and eating less when getting fast food. There have been times in the past six months when I've had trouble eating two of McDonald's double hamburgers, which is nothing for me. As I said, I made myself eat when I didn't feel hungry just because it had been 3-4-5-6 hours since my last meal and I knew the consequences of not eating. (Hypoglycemia, unconsciousness, possible coma--no thanks.)

...I just finished eating two Big Macs and I'm still working on the french fries...and I want more. Absent the fries I think I could have eaten a third Big Mac.

I done got the hongries.

And nothing has changed: I'm still single and have absolute zero social life. There are no prospects for a girlfriend and won't be for the foreseeable future. I spend my entire waking time either at the computer, reading, or watching stuff. I go fiddle with my cars from time to time, and I do some basic chores around the house and help Mom with her stuff. My life is still the same boring and depressing shit it's always been.

So why's my appetite back? God knows. Nothing like knowing your own mind, I always sez.

* * *

My brain just imploded. A lefty crusader feminist got raped in Haiti, and she's grateful to her assailant. She call him her "brother".

Did you ever throw something into a garbage disposal that the disposal simply could not digest? That's what happens when I drop the quote at that link into my brain: it sits in there like a block of tungsten steel, utterly impervious to any attempt at reduction. I can't even begin to analyze what is going on in that fool woman's head.

* * *

I picked up Sherlock Holmes the other day, but I haven't watched it yet.

* * *

Frost warning tonight. This is more typical for April around here.

Speaking of weather, the sun has been blank for more than a week now. In the last week or so it's doubled the number of spotless days we've had this year.

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