atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,


Mom decided on italian beef sandwiches for dinner.

Marnell's is this old, old drive-in place on Route 1 in Chicago Heights. It's changed hands several times but it still serves the same kind of food it served when my Mom was a teenager; and it's acknowledged as having among the best italian beef sandwiches in the Chicago area.

On the way back from there, somehow I got in front of a moron who thought that "SPEED LIMIT 30" wasn't fast enough, so this idiot tailgated me--like, "3 feet from my rear bumper" tailgating--all the way from Route 30 to about a block north of the Gabi scrapyard, where the road spreads out a bit and gains a left turn lane down the middle. Said idiot ducked into that lane and passed me going at least 45. In a 30 zone.

She made the light and I didn't; but as I waited for the light to turn green I saw a white car which looked suspiciously police-like pull onto the road after moron.

"I think that's a cop," I said.

"Oh, there's no way. It'd be nice, but that never happens," Mom said.

Light turned green, off I went (still at the posted limit, which rises to 40 near Gabi) and got to a red light at Sauk Trail, where caught up to both idiot stick and the police car that had pulled out behind her!

Me: Heh heh heh.

Mom: Oh, it is a police car! Hey!

The light turned green, and on went the strobes. I grinned and waved at the silly bitch as I passed her, but she wasn't looking in my direction, because she had to make a left turn into a parking lot.

And I laughed.

There is a painfully simple way for any person on this Earth to avoid a speeding ticket: DON'T FRICKING SPEED.

There are a few things that really make me laugh about all this:

1) I caught up with her at the next light. Not only did her speeding not save her any time; it cost her extra time because she got pulled over by the cop.

2) Where she tailgated me, the road is almost entirely a passing zone. She could have passed me at any time in a perfectly legal fashion; there was little opposing traffic. She didn't have to pass me illegally in the left turn lane.

3) It's her own damn fault.

It's really nice when some obvious fucktard who thinks the rules don't apply to him suddenly gets hit with the clue-by-four.

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