atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#2436: "These chocolate chip cookies are malicious."

Some comedian in the 1990s was making fun of Mike Tyson during his divorce or whatever the hell it was. I don't remember what it was. I just remember the comedian saying, "Mike Tyson said it was 'malicious'? The only way Mike Tyson could use that word is by accident: 'These chocolate chip cookies are malicious.'"

Well, my chocolate chip cookies are malicious. They are maliciously tempting me to eat them in order to make me even more of a fatass than I am now.

* * *

Michelle Malkin talks about the depths into which the USO has fallen. From Bob Hope to Kathy Griffin. know, Bob Hope had the good sense not to appear on stage in a bikini. He had no delusions about his attractiveness; he brought beautiful women with him and let them provide the cheesecake.

* * *

An article on "silencers". Suppressors are desirable for two reasons: first, they minimize the report of firing a fiream; second, they reduce recoil. They do this in a variety of ways, but they do it at the expense of muzzle velocity.

Thanks to Hollywood and TV, everyone thinks a "silencer" is only used by assassins who want to kill someone undetected. No law-abiding citizen has a legitimate use for a suppressor, goes the thinking.

No law-abiding citizen has a legitimate use for a machine gun, either, they say. And now people like the Brady morons are telling us that no law-abiding citizen has a legitimate use for a semiautomatic carbine; they invent foolish nomenclature ("assault weapon") and try to ban them based on some mythical "need".

If you try that with the First Amendment--ban media of self-expression based on individual need--you open a huge can of worms. How would these people like it if the government decided they didn't need to be able to use copiers and printers to get their message out?

* * *

Go back in time 25 years, replace "China" with "Japan" and then you'll understand why I keep saying, "I don't think so!"

* * *

Somali teenage girl is shot for converting to Christianity. As long as this continues to be the rule in muslim countries, I refuse to acknowledge that religion as "peaceful" or "good", or any approximation thereof.

* * *

Well: my back hurts less today than it has been. It still hurts; but I was able to sleep on my right side without that damned midget stabbing me in the lumbar spine. (Sorry: "little person".) I'm sitting at the computer with a pillow behind my back; and I'm thinking about buying a new chair with better lumbar support. Besides, a new chair might have better padding--this one's all right but it starts feeling kind of hard after five or six hours of WoW.

Speaking of WoW, we're a scant 15 hours from Cataclysm going live. I'm not going to upgrade right away; it's still going to be fun.

Wavestrider Beach (Tanaris) got washed away, damn it; that was one of my favorite places in the game. It was the perfect tropical beach, with clear blue water and palm trees and no hostile monsters. Well, the coastline moved west, almost to Gadgetzan. The beach is a lot less pleasant now.

* * *

So I bought some blank DVDs last Tuesday. What did the Sunday sale papers have for me?

1) OfficeMax has a 100 DVD spindle for $22--same brand--which is $4 more than I paid for the 50 DVD spindle at Wal-Mart.

2) Best Buy has the exact same 50 DVD spindle for $9.


...and I already broke the shrink wrap, so I can't take it back.

* * *

"Old habits die hard" department:

I discovered that I could change how the satellite box shows the program guide. It defaults to having the category list come up; I've had this box in here for years and I'm used to hitting "GUIDE" and "ENTER" to get to the custom channel guide.

But I changed the configuration--once I discovered I could--and now it goes right to the channel list when I hit "GUIDE". And I am still hitting "ENTER" after "GUIDE", which selects the highlighted channel and drops out of the guide.

The first time I tried looking at the guide after making the change, I had brought up and dismissed the thing three times before realizing that I was doing that, not the machine. I honestly wondered for a few seconds, "Why the hell is the guide not staying up?" That's how freakin' automatic it is for me to hit the "ENTER" button after "GUIDE".


So I rearranged things; and the clock which had been on my shelf is now on my desk. And I am still looking up at the shelf to see what time it is.

* * *

Speaking of telling time--the new iPod Nano is about 1.5" square. Someone (I think it's Belkin) makes a strap which lets you wear it on your wrist like a watch; and it looks as if there's either a built-in clock, or an app you can put on it to make it look like a watch when it's not doing anything else.

That is nifty; and it's almost enough to make me think about buying one, except that they're still too goddamned expensive.

Besides, I'm rough on watches--when I wear them, I'm forever banging them into things. One too-hard tap on an iPod's LCD and you've made a very expensive--and inefficient--paperweight.

* * *

I was re-reading Singularity the other night, and realized that I ought to pull it down from the web and shop it around to a couple of magazines.

...when I wrote it and published it here, I was thinking of it as a not very good throw-away story; but in the fullness of time I've come to realize that it's better than I thought it was.

* * *

Well, I haven't got much time to get Calandra to 40th level before Cataclysm hits. Later!

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