atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#2441: "I like pink, but that's just ugly."

Overheard as I was leaving Border's.

I had a bunch of errands to run, and I decided I'd run them today, so I wouldn't have to worry about running them tomorrow in the rain/sleet/snow/"wintry mix" shitstorm that's approaching.

Border's is selling--for reasons which are beyond me--hipster douchebag Christmas trees in odd colors. Pink and purple trees adorn the breezeway. As I was entering, someone was buying the remaining purple one.

*sigh*

As I was leaving some guy and his girlfriend were coming in, and she said, "I like pink, but that's ugly."

I thought: "What? How could anyone object to having a Christmas tree that's 'bright Pepto pink'? C'mon!" I'm not kidding: that tree was the color of Pepto Bismol.

* * *

In the "Iran can never hit the United States with a nuclear missile!" department, we have the news that Iran and Venezuela are talking about putting Iranian missiles in Venezuela.

Your missile can't cross the ocean? Move it closer! Make friends with someone on the other side of the ocean who hates your enemy just as much as you do. Remember, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" is an arab proverb.

* * *

Atlantis is a legend, but the legend may have a basis in fact.

* * *

The Gore Effect is still going strong. They have their climate talks in Cancun, so as to avoid things like last year's record-breaking cold snap in Copenhagen, and what happens? Cancun hits a 100-year low.

Hey guys? I know you don't believe in God and all, but maybe some higher power is trying to tell you something....

* * *

Incompetent terrorists are funny.

* * *

Imagine if George W. Bush had had his dad in for a press conference, and then he just walked out and let his dad handle the press for a while? Imagine what the left would be saying about Bush.

Obama walks out and leaves Clinton in charge, and we hear crickets.

* * *

Dennis gets it right: intoxication is for losers.

* * *

It's true: restaurants which serve pork aren't going to be full of muslims. In fact, they're going to avoid those places like the plague, because pork is "unclean" and you go to hell just for touching it. (If, that is, you don't have a chance to pray for forgiveness from Allah before you cash in your chips.)

Seriously: if you're a muslim, are you going to risk blowing yourself up where some of your body parts could end up mingled with pork chops and spare ribs? Instead of getting heavan and 72 virgins you'd find yourself down in hell, bent over and shackled to a half-molten boulder, with Satan lubing up his "unit" with bacon grease, preparing to re-enact some choice scenes from Urostukidoji with you playing the Japanese schoolgirl.

Besides being true, it's also hilarious just from the way it makes liberals' heads all 'splody.

* * *

Errands--*sigh*.

I had to drop something in the mail for Mom. I wanted to go to the bookstore to get the last two volumes of Lovely Complex. I hit Best Buy for blank DVDs and a bit of Christmas shopping. I went to Wal-Mart to get an RX. (No TSA nonsense there, anyway, which is a plus.) Then I went and did the grocery shopping.

...all of that, and I gave a ride home to the kid who occasionally shovels our driveway. He charges about $20 to get the snow off, and with my back being still on the iffy side, I welcomed the chance to have someone else do it. (We paid him $15 today, but I slipped him another $5 to salt it for us. My back has already thanked me for that.)

He started his little business by shoveling snow; saved up and bought a snow blower, and now uses it to make more money. Having asked the question and learned the answer, I told him that was cool. I wish I'd had 0.1 of that industriousness when I was his age.

But I got it all done; and the rest of the weekend is mine. It's about time to get out the Christmas tree, though....
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