atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#2702: Man, am I tired.

I worked nearly 10 hours yesterday and a similar number today. I slept all right last night (for a wonder) but that was mostly due to the Xanax I took to fend off a freakin' panic attack I had right before bedtime. *sigh*

The thing of maximum suckitude is that I forgot to request a refill for my pills. I've got two doses of Paxil left, and if I stretch it out by taking one every other day I can get to Monday without too much trouble. But it means commuting on Monday and driving back down here on Tuesday, depending on how things go and we (meaning me and [employer]) decide things should be done.

I just sent in a refill request, but my doc is off on Fridays. Yay!


...anyway, so here I am, in my hotel room with lousy Internet. I had leftover chicken lo mein for dinner, and I'm going to take a shower once I'm done with the bloggeratin'. Then I'll hit Wal-Mart for Pepsi and maybe something else to eat, because this chicken lo mein is going to do the usual chinese food thing and leave me hungry in about 20 min.

On the plus side, next week I won't have to do any grocery shopping or anything Monday. I won't have to be a whirling dervish after getting home from work--at most, I'll pick up my RX, and I can do that on the way home.

Anyway, the robot cell continues to progress. Today I finished the fourth wall and began work on wiring: I got the lights up, and the camera in place; then I wired the door sensors and installed them. I still need to hook up the camera's power supply and signal cable, which means I have to find it; and I have some other fiddlybits to do with the vision system before I can call that done. But every day it creeps closer to being functional!

...there are two new robot bases sitting over by the parts cabinets. I guess I know what that means.

* * *

Unemployment is going up UNEXPECTEDLY!. The article actually says it! Emphasis mine: "New U.S. claims for unemployment aid unexpectedly rose last week to touch their highest level in eight months...."

And non-manufacturing orders are down, too. I've been seeing a lot of empty container cars on the various railroads I happen across. I doubt it's coincidental. Remember: if the containers aren't moving--even empties--then the stuff isn't moving. And a robust economy has a lot of stuff moving.

* * *

Besides having lousy Internet, this Days Inn has lousy furniture. The bed is comfortable enough, but the chairs are crappy. I tried watching anime last night and was seriously uncomfortable by the middle of the second episode.

In Infinite Stratos, Houki's older sister turned up--the genius who invented the IS system. She's just what you'd expect from a super-genius; I now no longer think that the mysterious unpiloted IS they had to fight a few eps back was from her. She's not evil; she's not even "mischievous with a screwed-up sense of proportion". She's weird and silly, but she's not going to do something that might end up getting someone hurt or killed just for a few laughs.

Let's face it: when she shows up, she does so in a giant carrot that falls from the sky. There are anime villains who would do that, but Infinite Stratos is not the kind of series which would have that sort of villain.

So I'm coming to the end of the first season of Fairy Tail. The last story arc of the first season is the "Battle of Fairy Tail" arc. Neat stuff has already happened; more neat stuff is in the works. I'm looking forward to this, as always.

Kaichou-wa Maid Sama is almost done, too, as is Kimi ni Todoke 2. So I'm going to have to dig out more anime to watch, and soon, damn it.

* * *

I don't know what next week is going to look like yet. [Employer] has not discussed matters with me at all. Heck, if they decide that my taking Tuesday off was inexcusable (which would be odd in light of what [Boss] said in an email he sent Tuesday evening) and tell me to seek other opportunities, then I guess I'll just have to live with that.

The thing is, [Boss] is basically the operations manager. [Owner] is his dad, and [Owner] pretty much calls the shots; if [Owner] disapproves of something, it either doesn't happen in the first place or it gets fixed pronto. So [Boss] could say (as he did) that he wants to keep me on regardless of how things have gone, but if [Owner] was cheesed off enough by it, that's it.

[Boss] basically told me he was pleased with my performance (excluding my calling off Tuesday) and was prepared to let the past be the past, because (I think) sometimes stuff happens. But as I say, if [Owner] is unhappy, it probably doesn't matter what [Boss] thinks.

I guess I'd deserve it, too.

As bad as that would be, though, 2 weeks isn't enough to put on a resume. I guess I could say I did a very short-term contract to build a single robot cell, but the point is it's not a black mark on my record if things don't go well.

...but all signs point to "I'm going to still be employed next week," since today I spent some time watching [coworker] teach a robot how to identify and pick up a part for processing, and he told me, "You're going to be doing a lot of this later on." (Of course he might not be privy to what the bosses are thinking. How paranoid should I be?)

As for what I want--hell if I know. None of the alternatives makes me happy. I've just about reconciled myself to moving down here, though it still depresses the hell out of me when I consider it. (Thinking about it, last night, was what triggered the panic attack. I'm a wreck; sometimes I think I ought to seek disability for my anxiety disorder. It certainly does cause me enough trouble, damn it.) But choosing to go back to being unemployed is a complete non-starter.

If I end up being given the hidey ho, though, I'll just have to find something nearer to home, probably something unskilled. That appeals more to me than continued unemployment does--but really, I'd rather do something technical, if possible. (Still thinking that if I had to find a new job, getting a job like Geek Squad at Best Buy would be long as they didn't make me try to sell anyone "Monster Cables".)

There is also still the possibility of getting some job retraining, paid for by Uncle Sam, applied to learning robot programming and such. That would be a good investment, and I bet I could find any number of entry-level positions closer to home if I had the training.

Well--thinking about this isn't going to do me much good, because I have no clue WTF is going on...yet. I figure I'll know by this time tomorrow at the latest what is going to be going on.

As Og says, in the worst case I've got a couple weeks' pay to help keep me afloat until I find something else. It should pay for a month or two worth of groceries, anyway.

But I'm betting I'll still have a job. C'mon: from a standing start, with no prior experience, in eight working days I've taken the thing from a pile of parts to a nearly-complete robot cell. (It'll be eight tomorrow, anyway.) If that's not enough to expiate my sin of calling off Tuesday, what is?

* * *

Anyway, I need to go buy Pepsi, and I have a hankering for some ice cream, and before I do any of that I need a freakin' shower. It was hot in there today, and I suffered two bouts of gut malf which left me sweating; and I had to crawl around on the floor to try to find a missing part, so I got extra-grimy today.

After that? I'll probably just watch anime again. WoW is too frustrating with this hotel's shitty Internet. (I've also been rereading Lovely Complex.) Anime FTW.

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