First I found that the carb was flooding, so I took it off and checked the float level. It was wrong; so I fixed it. No idea how it got messed up considering that I only just set it a few days ago, but whatev. Shit happens.
Fixed that problem, and then tried again, and it still wouldn't start. Getting tired of kicking the kick starter, I put it in gear and let it roll down the driveway; it didn't even try to fire.
Long story short: no spark.
Pulling the rotor off was easy this time. I needed my impact screwdriver to get the magneto assembly out of the crankcase, but that went smoothly enough.
I discovered that the points were shorted: regardless of whether they were open or closed, there was continuity. Argh etc.
...it took me a few minutes to figure out how to fix the problem, but I got it fixed. The condensor cannot be connected electrically to the moving point, even though it's connection is such that there's a screw which can provide continuity if it's put together wrong. Bad engineering.
I put everything back together, reset the points gap. Still no spark.
At this point, I'm going to have to take the magneto assembly back out and check everything for shorts. If the magneto assembly checks out, then I've got to look over the ignition coil.
I'm hoping it's just a matter of a misconnection or a loose wire or something. Maybe I'm misreading the manual and setting the points the wrong way; I don't know. Either way, it's a huge friggin' pain in the ass, and if I need to order any parts it may jeopardize my having this thing ready by the 4th of July.
Well, no one said it would be easy.