atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#2826: I don't NEED this!

So I get home from therapy and get the mail from the mailbox.

The Record-Monitor is there. The latest issue of American Rifleman, too; that ought to be entertaining. And--uh oh, three bad-looking things.

One is from AT&T: "Important information about your accout." Oh, dear...did I forget to mail them the check or something?

Another has "PLEASE VERIFY RECEIPT" on it; that doesn't look good, either. A bill from my hospital stay? Something worse?

Lastly, a letter from the trust company that's got the land trusts. Oh, my my my....

So I set everything down and get the letter opener and start seeing what's going on. The AT&T bill is first, because if my Internet access goes out, I lose my mind--

"You're eligible for XYZ and a wireless package for only...!!!"

Rip. Toss. Sigh.

Trust company: "Hey, we're merging with XYZTheta--"

Set aside. Sigh.

The bill-looking thing: "We can save you hundreds on your car insurance!"

Me: NO, YOU CAN'T! SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF!

...I really have to bear in mind that Diet Mountain Dew still has caffiene in it.

I realize that the whole point of making these various communications look like dire issues that must be handled now--I understand that it's solely to get me to read the thing rather than toss it in the trash unread.

I know, and I don't care one jot.

AT&T sends about five of these stupid notices per month: "You can get wireless and phone for just...!" I don't want an AT&T wireless plan. I don't need an AT&T wireless plan.

It's been a while now, long enough that I don't remember who it was; but some company kept sending me spam like this, several times per month. I think they wanted to loan me money at some ridiculous rate; in any case I got so f-ing tired of it, I finally took about three or four of their spams, wrote "STOP SENDING ME THIS CRAP" on them in felt tip, stuffed them all into one of the postage-paid reply envelopes, and mailed it back to them.

Remarkably, I never heard from them again.

I'm just about to do that with AT&T. And Clear wireless--them too.

There are only two basic reasons I might want to replace my cell phone. The first is if Tracfone comes out with a more advanced model than the one I've got. (I'm sure they have; this one is vintage 2005.) The other is if it sustains some kind of damage, like getting dunked in water or if the face is fractured, or something. Either way, I'm sticking with Tracfone, because I've got some twelve hours of talk time on the thing and I like their service. The only time I was ever displeased with their service was when they claimed they couldn't give me a number in my home area because it was out of numbers, yet gave my girlfriend who lives a scant four miles away a number with an actual 708 area code. (Mine's 847. WTF.)

I don't need the latest and greatest in cell phones. I want a phone I don't have to worry too much about. (An iphone? Let's not be ostentatious.) The phone I have now cost $20; it makes and receives phone calls. It can even take grainy, blurry pictures. I don't need more.

* * *

For some reason, I worked three quotes from the Doctor Who episode "City of Death" into the above rant. Don't ask me why:
I know, and I don't care one jot.
the face is fractured
Let's not be ostentatious.
If you recognize the scenes they're from, good for you. If not, don't worry about it.

* * *

I happened to see a cumulous cloud develop. I was standing in the church parking lot waiting for L. to get out of her car so we could go inside where it was cool, and as I watched this cloud, it just ballooned up and up, fast enough that I could watch the thing billow.

There's a crapton of heat energy in the local atmosphere. How the hell has it not rained yet?

I'm coming to believe that storms are not caused by hot, humid air, but by cool, dry air. Over the past few days there have been few clouds and it's been hot and sticky the entire time. The cool air begins moving in, and blammo here come the storms.

Because there's no cool, dry air to be had, there's no temperature differential; and without a temperature differential, a heat engine cannot function. A rain shower is a heat engine. You do the math.

* * *

Rejected simile: "It was like watching Dolly Parton enter puberty!" I pretty much decided against using that comparison for a variety of reasons (not the least being, "Eeew....") but damn if it ain't a colorful simile.

* * *

Ace makes a good point about artists that denigrate the everyday.

* * *

Also at Ace: We need a privacy statute and we need it now. Too much of what police can do, thanks to technology, lends itself to the formation of a police state.

Also, we need to be given the right to videotape police.

* * *

They say the stultifyingly hot weather is going to ease off a bit tonight, and the predicted high for tomorrow is ten degrees cooler than today's was. But it's still going to be in the low 90s, which is still hot.

I realized this afternoon that I predicted a cool summer. I'm sorry; it's all my fault.
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