atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3041: I wonder if I broke any laws that I give a rat's ass about

During the week that contained my sister's memorial service, the hen that had traveled here from Maine laid two eggs. These eggs were saved, my remaining sister said, so that she could give them to my sister-in-law (a city girl if there ever was one). The eggs have, since then, sat in a cup in the refrigerator...until tonight.

See, I woke up from my nap wanting to make my delicious and filling hamburger fried rice.

As I was doing the prep work, I went to the fridge for eggs...and saw the eggs in their cup. I realized this is exactly the place to use them and took them out. I was waiting to cook something of which the eggs would be a minor part, in case they tasted funky or something; but I needn't have worried.

I broke them into a bowl. No obvious odor or anything; the yolks were much more orange than I'm used to, but they looked and smelled okay. One had a bit of a blot of something near the yolk; I realized that might be the very beginnings of an embryo and it might just be a blot of random junk. I removed it with a spoon (though if I was less of a city pussy myself I would have left it in) and scrambled the two eggs with a single store-bought egg. after all was said and done I tasted the now-cooked scrambled eggs, and it tasted fine, so it went into the fried rice.

You've got to figure: humans have been eating eggs for thousands of years without an FDA inspector to okay them. And in fact the FDA inspector doesn't exactly hold each egg up to a candle and do all kinds of inspection of the things; mostly what he does is make sure the facility that processes them has all its paperwork up to date. The difference between those eggs and the ones I put in my fried rice? About fifty reams of paperwork.

Oh, and the color. These had brown shells.

I suppose an overly-zealous federal inspector could come here and arrest me for using eggs that don't have the government's seal of approval, and he could probably make me dance to his tune for about as long as it took me to call a lawyer. I'd wager that I'd end up having grounds for a lawsuit afterwards, though.

* * *

As for the fried rice: it really isn't "fried rice", the way I make it. It's more like "stir fry with rice". I start with a pound or so of hamburger; add mushrooms, carrots, celery, bean sprouts; peas and corn (though I didn't have any peas this time, I use frozen, about a cup each, defrosted).

Oh, yeah: and rice. Usually I put in a cup or two of cooked rice, depending on how much I think I need.

For sauce I use a tablespoon of "House of Tsang" stir-fry sauce, a half-tablespoon of the same brand of Szechuan sauce, and a tablespoon of soy, mixed and poured over the nearly-finished food. Then I sprinkle on another couple tablespoons of soy sauce direct from the bottle. Stir well, remove from heat, sprinkle with sesame oil, stir it all up. Serve and enjoy. If you have leftovers it's because you didn't have enough people around. It'll reheat just fine and it never lasts in the fridge long enough to go bad.

It's nice to know that I can throw together a meal like this one for about $5 worth of materials which would evaporate if I had a bunch of people over. (Evaporate, and leave no one hungry, I might add.)

* * *

Tomorrow I hope to get the grass cut for what ought to be the last time this year. We'll see how I do after church and everything.

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