Made it there at 6:07.
The food was good, and then the "Not So Talented Talent Show" began.
Ours was the penultimate act, and we knocked 'em dead. I introduced us this way:
When Mr. [Chairman] asked if I might do a dramatic reading with him, I naturally agreed.As expected, that little intro garnered quite a laugh. I do not believe that I have ever said the word "fart" so many times in a two-minute period as I did tonight.
I thought we might do Poe, or Shakespeare, but Mr. [Chairman] had a brilliant idea--and so we present to you, in a stunning display of erudition and culture, [turn book around so audience can see] The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts.
As I've said before, I find the word "fart" unpleasant, which was enough to help me keep from busting out laughing myself at the way [Chairman] was cavorting around and making silly things happen with the props. I did crack a couple of smiles, but was quickly able to get back into character and sound upper-crusty and all. It was pretty damned funny.
Then--after the acts were over--there was more insanity. Part of the program was to form groups and have each group send a representative to the mic for this or that. Examples: "Who has the biggest feet?" "Tell a joke!" The winner of each contest was then announced. (There were no prizes, but so what? It's for fun, damn it.)
I ended up there for "Elvis Impression". When it was my turn, the best I could do was a couple bars of "Hound Dog"; but I think I won. (No, I'm not sure.) One guy was wearing a coat like a cape, went down on a knee, and threw the "cape" off while singing, "I did it myyyy waayyyy!" He did it on purpose. It was funny.
So it was an amazingly fun evening.
The best part was that I was nervous before my performance, but not during. Once I was up there I was too busy to be nervous, and anyway the people were laughing as hoped, and things were going well, so there was nothing to be nervous about.
Ah, what a good way to spend a Saturday night.