atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

Two Utterly Pathetic Things

Thing 1:

Last night it was 44° F when I was driving to work, and it was alternating between rain and drizzle. Not a very pleasant evening.

On my way to work, I had to wait for a stop light. As I waited for it, another car pulled up next to me, its stereo on super-loud; parts of the car resonated with the stentorian bass of the subwoofer. I didn't look, because people with those kinds of stereos are attention whores. Besides, what would I see?

But the light turned green, and the car pulled ahead; and I saw that it was an early '90s Oldsmobile Cutlass. The windows were open and the sunroof was popped up.

In that weather. The moron was probably wearing ear plugs, too; the sole reason for the stereo being that loud was to bludgeon everyone else with his music.

As he pulled away, I had only one thought:

Man, it sure is a sad thing when cousins marry.

***

Thing 2:

I was working out on the floor last night, rather than in the back room; it was a refreshing change.

The evening had basically just started, and I was working on stocking the Pop-Tarts. As happens sometimes when you stock retail shelves, I found some empty product packaging behind some other stuff.

I wish I could say I was surprised that the day-side folks hadn't found it when they were doing their closing "zone" of the store...but I can't.

The product in question was some kind of perfume. It wasn't even a name brand perfume; it was a Target house brand perfume of some kind. Anyway, I followed the procedure and carefully made note of the time and place that the package was found. It was probably a ten or fifteen dollar item, maybe; or it could have cost as much as thirty, I suppose.

So I worked a little farther on, and--lo and behold!--found another item!

What was it? It was a card of six barettes, and it was missing one.

The barettes in question cost around $1.69 for a card of six. One-sixth of that is $0.29, more or less. Whoever did that spent more money just coming the goddamned store than that barette cost--the nearest gas station to the store is now getting $3.02 for a gallon of 87 octane gas. $0.29 worth of gasoline at $3.02 per gallon will take you around 3 miles, assuming your car gets around 33 MPG.

I don't even know what a bus ride would cost. Nor a taxi. But someone wanted that barette so badly that he/she was wiling to risk going to jail to have it.

I think retired Sheriff John Bunnell, on World's Wildest Police Videos, said it best: How pathetic can you get?

Stuff like that makes me really angry. I mean, it's not enough that the dumbass stole from the store; the dumbass added insult to injury by stealing something that was basically worthless anyway.

Even if you assume that the moron walked to the store that still doesn't help. Walked to the store in a cold drizzle on a Friday? Did the loser have nothing better to do with a Friday? Anyway, it's not a poor area; I find it nearly inconceivable that anyone living within walking distance of the store wouldn't have even $2 to spare for a card of barettes.

The perfume--that almost makes some limited kind of sense to me, even if it's a store brand, because of the price of the merchandise.

But if you're going to steal something cheap, why not steal the entire card, at least? I mean, at least steal two of the stupid things so you have a matched set, or something!
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