atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,

#3440: You're kidding, right?

Incidentally, I noticed this last night: the flyer I got in the mail from Phantom Fireworks has maps of their two stores in NW Indiana, and convenient directions to them.

One store lists approximate travel distances from various cities: Chicago, Joliet, and Saint Louis.

Now: unless Congress went hog wild with the redistricting (and exceeded its authority) Saint Louis is still in Missouri. Take a look at this map I shamelessly stole from Gizmodo last year:

As you can see, Indiana is in the "Just don't get too crazy" category...while Missouri (which contains Saint Louis, by the way) is in the "If someone wanted to pour a cup of gunpowder into a tin can and explode it, it's probably okay" category.

Ergo: why would someone drive 264 miles from Saint Louis to go to a fireworks store in Indiana which has less cool shit in it than he can get at home?

And, worse, drive 264 miles through a state which will confiscate them if they catch you with them in the state?

I mean, Missouri allows things like real M-80s, which are essentially 1/8th a stick of dynamite. They let the average person buy all kinds of big pyrotechnics--stuff that's too big to be class "C" but isn't on the level of the professional mortars.

Though--my sister told me about the fireworks in Louisiana on New Year's, and how she could have bought freakin' 8" mortars! (She didn't, because she was worried about damaging the street. WTF.)

"What I can never seem to remember is that the DOT clssifies from the top down: the big stuff (TNT, Semtex, other explosives) is class A. The big display fireworks are class B. The fireworks you get from roadside stands--consumer or package fireworks--is class C." But I remembered this time!

And, "Sparklers are class C. So are bottle rockets and mortars up to 1.75"."

So if I understand correctly, Missouri allows the sale of (at least some) Class B fireworks to unlicensed people, as does Louisiana and certain other states.

Very few states limit fireworks purchases to sparklers, snakes, smoke bombs, and snap crackers. Even fewer have total bans, and those are just the states you would expect to have such bans. (NY, MA, etc. The hard blue states.)

Perhaps this is just an inside joke among the staff that did the flyer; or maybe they don't f-ing know what's what and really think someone might want to drive from Saint Louis to Indiana to buy fireworks. I don't know.

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