atomic_fungus (atomic_fungus) wrote,
atomic_fungus
atomic_fungus

#3524: The sense of impending disaster

Having an anxiety disorder is so much fun, especially when you're taking a drug that makes it worse!

Turns out that the generic form of synthroid has a history of causing anxiety and depression, and for some reason the name-brand doesn't do this. So guess what I get to do tomorrow? Spend entirely too much money on pills, that's what, to see if I can take them without freaking right the fuck out.

For the past several days I've just had this horrible feeling that something incredibly bad is about to happen, and I can't shake it. Half the time I feel like the entire world is made of pain and that everything is utterly hopeless, and it'd be better if God just took us all to Heaven right now.

*sigh*

So, I haven't taken today's pill, and won't take it. I'm just going to take the usual Paxil tab tonight. I'm hoping this will help me calm down a bit and stop feeling like we're all about to die or be eaten or some horseshit like that.

Argh etc.

* * *

On the plus side, I've gotten six pages of the new novel written already. It's a bit incoherent but it's helping me take my mind off THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE THAT'S ABOUT TO DESTROY US ALL and I feel like I'm getting something done. And anyway, it's a rough draft--they're supposed to be a bit incoherent. It'll smooth out.

And so far I'm liking what I've written, too, so I've got that going for me.

* * *

Among other things, then, I'm thinking about taking a trip to Orland Park for gyoza--and perhaps going first to Chick-fil-A for dinner. I don't know. I had Culver's for breakfast, and I really ought to cook something rather than dine out again.

...but right now I'm thinking, "General Tao's Chicken!"

I'm a mess. But since my emotions are jangling like a guitar dropped from shoulder height, that shouldn't be all that surprising.

* * *

For you SF-y folks: A list of G-type stars within 100 light years of Earth. Handy! Informative! Amaze your friends! Impress the girls!

* * *

...and the first world in my SF universe to be struck down by Kepler orbits Gliese 691 and it happens to be the homeworld of the main character of #RELEASE_CANDIDATE_1, which means I have to find another star in the same neighborhood that doesn't have a planet massing 540 times that of Earth crossing through the star's habitable zone every 1.8 years.

Do you know how much gravity that kind of mass has? It's about 11x Earth's diameter, so let's let physics do the talking. Turns out the surface gravity on that planet is a mere

81,000 GRAVITIES

so there's no problem, right?

*sigh*

...so it's big and dense and it's going to wreck the orbit of the planet I put around that star, so I get to find another one. I can't fudge this one the way I can fudge the white dwarf orbiting Regulus at about 0.35 AU. Argh etc.

And I've learned all this while looking up other stuff for the story I'm working on right now, which isn't even set in the same universe. That's the really graveling part.

* * *

High of 73 on Friday. I can hardly wait.
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